fade to black | james hetfield [1]

twenty two

chapter twenty two: hold the day

Iris eventually forgot about James. She had to move on.

As time went on, he became a distant memory. She was so used to people leaving and never coming back, so it didn't take that long for her to come back from her distress.

However, the part that still stuck with her was that her heart was ultimately broken. And in her mind, he didn't feel the same heartbreak. Otherwise, he wouldn't have run off with Alice. 

While she wasn't moping around anymore, she still had trouble sleeping, her mind constantly worrying about James as she was left in the dark. 

She hated the fact that she had these feelings for James. She never imagined having that for someone else, let alone loving someone. Now all of a sudden she was capable of loving James?

There was a long period when she couldn't do anything without thinking of that day, and it felt like she was stuck in a personal hell. The dark thoughts were unavoidable and tempting, but she knew better than to give in to her demons.

Going to work provided a good distraction for her, even if she hated the way her coworkers would pity her, and she hated pity more than anything.

Her time with him felt so short and long at the same time. There weren't many memories that she could recount with him, but it felt like there was more. It was like she had known James since forever.

Life was going to go on with or without him, and she knew she had to keep going. Who knows, maybe a couple of years from now, James was going to become famous and tell a random interviewer about the one that got away. 

One particular night, Iris did her usual routine of heading to the bar after work. It was the first time she had gone back there since she saw James with Alice and her world came crashing down. 

She was a bit uneasy as she made her way toward the doors, the memories flooding back almost immediately. It was weird to think that this tiny bar had been her private sanctuary and was now the backdrop to their relationship.

As she went inside, it felt empty and lifeless, reminiscent of Iris's mental state when James had first approached her that night. It was a bittersweet feeling. She hoped that maybe by some coincidence, James would be there.

However, it was like any other night. She sat there by herself, sipping on a beer and keeping to herself. It was nice for a change, Iris preferred this over the rough nights she would suffer alone.

That's how it was for the most part until she recognized Alice sitting nearby. She was upset about something, her expression showing signs of anger and sadness as she sat by herself. 

Iris was surprised to see her and shocked to see that James wasn't with her. If he wasn't there, then something was definitely going on. Alice would've never let him out of her sight that easily.

Iris knew that Alice wasn't the nicest person, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from going to check on her. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked gently as she approached Alice.

Alice turned to her, her face turning into disgust and annoyance when she saw it was Iris standing there. "Oh great, now you're here." She spat. 

Iris was already used to that reaction from strangers. Alice was nothing to her. "What are you doing here all by yourself?" She asked, ignoring her attitude.

Alice laughed dryly, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you heard? Your boyfriend left me to go on tour with his band." She glared at Iris like it was her fault. 

Iris felt her heart sink to her stomach. "What?" She wasn't asking, more so saying it out of shock. He left without a word. No apology, no goodbye, just disappeared without a word.

She was sad to hear that James had decided to leave, especially when it was something that was going to keep them apart. 

While there was nothing she could do about it, she wished that he would've at least tried to leave on better terms. Maybe there was more she didn't know. 

Alice shook her head and got up from the booth, coming face to face with Iris. "Also, do me a favor: never speak to me again, you freak." She said low enough for Iris to hear before leaving. 

Iris didn't even know what she did to Alice to make her act that way, but she didn't bother to entertain it. Sighing deeply, she went to sit back at the bar by herself, coming to terms with James being gone for good.

If she was going to take anything from the short amount of time that James was in her life, it was that she wasn't going to let this ruin whatever would come in the future. 

It was going to be hard, and there were going to be days filled with doubt, but she was going to keep her head held high.

James showed her that not everyone was out to get her, that she was worthy of love and happiness and all the good things she ever wanted from the world.

No one would ever come close to how Iris loved James.