fade to black | james hetfield [1]

thirty five

chapter thirty five: safe and protected

As soon as James made a quick visit to finish some paperwork, he got into his car and began speeding towards Iris's house.

It had been days since they came back from tour, and the worry was killing him inside. Because he had to go deal with some things before going to see her, he left a lot later than he wanted to.

Iris had no idea that the tour was over. He stopped sending the letters, so she assumed that he stopped caring. She came back home that day exhausted from work, unaware of his return in the next couple of hours.

She sat in her living room in silence, eating dinner by herself. It was like that most days, this was usually the time when she would get stuck in her head for hours on end. There was nothing else.

Suddenly, a rapid and loud knocking came at her door and she jumped. "Iris, open up!" That was James's voice on the other side of the door. Quickly she got up and ran toward the door, worried and surprised to see him there.

Iris swung the door open, looking back at a panicked James. "Could you knock on the door any harder?! You made me think something was wrong!" She shouted.

"I haven't heard from you in weeks, can you blame me for thinking something was seriously wrong?!" James shouted back, out of breath like he had been running to the door and hoping for the best.

Iris went silent when he brought that up. He was right, she had no business going MIA without saying a word. A notice would've been nice.

"I was worried about you again, Iris," James sounded out of breath like he had run a marathon to make sure she was okay. "I know this is new to you, but you can't keep doing this! I genuinely care about you, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not going to do that to you."

James was almost pleading with her to believe him. He didn't understand why it was so difficult for her to come around, but he was going to be patient no matter how long it took.

Tears welled up in Iris's eyes as she realized the extent of her mistake. "I'm sorry James," Iris began to sob, once again feeling guilty. "I was just so scared to try things again because I thought you would leave."

She didn't know why James continued to put up with her. She swore she sounded like a broken record at this point. Everyone else seemed to get the memo but him. 

James felt his heart break watching her in this state. He knew things weren't easy, and it was going to take time for her to finally trust him the way he wanted her to.

"I'm not going anywhere Iris, I swear," He stepped towards her, wiping her tears away. "I am never going to give up on you, ever. There is nothing I'm hiding, there is no 'gotcha' moment, and there is nothing you can do to make me go away. I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart that I care about you so much, I don't know what else you want me to say. I love you."

Iris felt the weight of his words on her conscience. She knew he meant every word, but it was hard when she was constantly going through this up-and-down battle of trusting him.

James wrapped his arms around her, providing a comforting embrace for her to let out everything she had been holding inside. Some of her cries were full of pain, and some were to get the sadness she had been feeling out of her system.

He didn't let her go once, rubbing her back and whispering reassurances that he wasn't going anywhere. He would be here for her every step of the way, and he was never going to let her reach this vulnerable place again.

When she finally calmed down, they stood in comfortable silence in the middle of her living room, holding each other like they had done plenty of times before.

James thought this would be a perfect time to bring up the fact that he had done something before coming to see her. "Can I say something crazy?" James asked, a slight smirk on his face.

Iris was already scared about what he meant by "crazy." That could mean anything, and Iris looked at him with a bit of suspicion in her eye.

"Remember when we talked about moving to California?" He had a twinkle in his eye as he got himself ready to say the next thing. "I got us an apartment."

That was the pit stop he had made earlier in the week, the thing that held him back from seeing her sooner. He went to look at the apartment and have it ready to move in. With Iris.

Her eyes lit up at the news. "What? Are you serious?" Her expression quickly turned into horror as she thought about how they were going to be able to live. "James, how are we going to afford that?"

James shook his head. "Don't worry about that, okay?" He had pulled some things together on his end to make sure she wouldn't have to worry so much. "I just want to be with you, not away from you."

Iris felt her heart swell with love for her rockstar boyfriend. A smile cracked on her face for the first time in weeks and she rested her head on his chest, looking forward to the future.

A/N: apologies if this is poorly written, i have finals tomorrow and i'm not looking forward to it :(