fade to black | james hetfield [1]

twenty seven

chapter twenty seven: home sweet home

When James woke up the next morning, the rest of the band was out cold, having gone to sleep in the early morning hours.

While he had time to himself, he began to write a letter to Iris. He didn't want the rest of the band to see, so he tried to write something as quickly as possible before someone woke up. 

He wrote the letter simply because he took his nightmare as a reason to stay in touch with Iris. He wasn't always going to have access to the phone and he didn't want to ignore her anymore.

He planned to send it when they got to the next city they were supposed to perform in. They would have enough time during the day for James to go off on his own and send it.

He poured his heart out into that letter, making sure he told Iris just how regretful he was. He promised to see her again and wrote his apology over and over again to make sure it was right.

James heard some footsteps in the middle of writing, causing him to freeze up. He quickly grabbed all the papers that were scattered on the table, trying to hide the evidence before anyone could see.

Lars had come in, catching the last of whatever he was trying to hide. Lars noticed right away and already became suspicious. "What are you doing?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

James was sitting there looking back at Lars, trying to remain nonchalant. "Nothing, just thinking." He said, pretending as if he had been writing some new music.

Lars narrowed his eyes at him, trying to figure out if he was lying. "Are you the only one awake?" He asked James, trying to change the subject to throw him off track.

James nodded and Lars stood there for a minute, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. "Why are you so quiet?" Lars asked.

James let out a long sigh. "I'm trying to write some music and you're breaking my concentration." He said in annoyance.

Lars narrowed his eyes once more before leaving James alone. He closed his eyes in relief when he left, thankful that he had gone away and left him to be.

James was now on high alert as he continued to write as much as he could. The rest of the band was going to wake up soon, so he had to put it to the side eventually.

For most of the day, the band had done rehearsals and sound checks for their show later that night. James took whatever free time he had to finish writing.

"What have you been writing in your notebook all day?" Kirk would ask at some point. Since James had been writing in the same book he wrote their songs in, they assumed it was just another song.

"Um...I'm writing something for someone." James admitted. There was no use in hiding it anymore, especially now that Kirk had brought it up in front of the whole band.

"I told you," Lars said to Kirk before turning back to James. "Let me guess, it's about Alice?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"No," James took a deep breath before deciding to admit the truth. "I'm actually writing something for Iris." His voice drifted off. 

Their jaws all dropped simultaneously, surprised to hear her name come up again. They assumed things between Iris and James were over for good.

"Wait, what? Are you talking to Iris again?" Kirk asked, suddenly having hope for the two of them again. 

"Yeah, I guess so." James shrugged. His mouth turned up into a slight smirk as he thought back on their phone call and watched the band's reaction to it.

The three of them started cheering and egging James on for the good news. He was much happier whenever she was around and the rest of the band felt the same way.

"So...are you going to tell us why you guys stopped talking?" Cliff asked, figuring that now would be the best time to ask what happened all those weeks before. 

James sighed. "We got into this big argument and we said things we shouldn't have said. I got mad and I left," James explained, thinking back on it. "I think I owe it to her to fix things, at least on my end."

It was one of the first times he had been vulnerable with someone else besides Iris, and one of the first times he decided to be vulnerable with the band.

He continued to explain what happened without mentioning all the personal details. They didn't need to know all the hurt that he and Iris had both gone through.

"You did all of that to her?" Kirk asked, almost offended that his bandmate had done something so bad to his friend. "You better apologize." He threatened.

Cliff laughed. "Uh, I think he's gonna do more than just apologize," He patted Kirk on the back. "Maybe he's writing a love song for her or something." Cliff teased.

"Oh, definitely," Lars added on. "They're gonna fall in love and get back together, just like old times." He teased.

James couldn't help but chuckle a bit, rolling his eyes at Lars. "It's not like that." He replied.

"That's what you said when you guys were 'just friends'," Lars put up air quotes. "You two are basically made for each other." Lars smirked.

James tried to hide the blush that crept on his face as the guys continued to tease him about Iris being his future girlfriend. He couldn't deny it, the feeling was mutual.

Eventually, they gave James his space before the show. He got the chance to finish writing the letter and send it through the post office.

As James wrote her address down, he hoped she would appreciate the gesture and hear back from her soon.