Diary boy || yoonmin. ✓

Diary Entry #1

14/09/2023
Dear Diary,

I hope you're doing well. We met twice today didn't we? Right now, I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you. Lately, I've been feeling quite lonely and misunderstood. It seems like nobody really gets me, you know? Even though I have a family, it often feels like they don't fully support or understand me. It's tough when you're craving that connection and empathy from the people around you, but it feels like it's just out of reach.

One more thing that keeps making me feel overwhelmed is the way people at school look at me. It's hurtful and it chips away at my self-confidence. I wish they could see past the surface and recognize the person I am inside. It's frustrating when people judge based on looks alone, without taking the time to understand who I truly am.

I wish I could be one of those cool kids whom everybody likes, I don't even know what did I do wrong that so many people hates me. I keep making my parents feel disappointed in me which makes me feel like I'm not worth living. Nobody wants to be friends with me, even if they approach me they only use and then throw me away like I'm a trash.

Indeed I feel like a trash sometimes, I thought maybe if I dye my hairs people will like me like those cool kids but seems like my face is the main problem.

I'm feeling exhausted right now, I want to sleep but I'm tired of waking up every morning. I can't do anything except living my life like this, I don't even have the courage of ending it all. But I'm enjoying the numb feeling in my body right now, I feel like I'm at peace. I also know that it's gonna pain the next morning but I don't care anymore.

I'm going to rest now.

Thank you for being here, Diary. It means a lot to have a safe space where I can express my thoughts and emotions. I don't know if there will be brighter days ahead or not but I'm holding onto that hope.

Take care, Diary.

Love,
Jimin