P S Y C H E

Chapter Two

Mia

He continues to follow after me without saying another word and I have to bite back the smile that tugs at my lips from him actually listening to me. I pushed past  the branches that were slowly letting the autumn leaves fall that crunched under my shoes. Sweat began to form on my brow as the autumn breeze did nothing to cool down the hot day. The thing about Colorado is that it was indeed one of the most bipolar states out there. Just yesterday it was snowing but now, it felt nice like a summer evening with a hint of coldness. It was extremely annoying.
After another ten minutes of walking we finally reach the small pond hidden deeper within the woods. I have lived in this trailer my entire life, exploring and finding all the places to hide whenever I needed to get away from my aunt. Unfortunately for me, she also knew all the hiding spots, seeming to always find me and drag me back to that horror house. This was the only place she never found, the one place where I could leave all my worries behind and just find peace for a few short hours.
I would always come and just sit on a rock, watching the water gently ripple with the breeze. The water understood me, it too was being controlled. Told what to do and which way to flow. Knew better than to disobey. Yeah, I wish things were that simple for me too. I stared down into the water, my reflection staring back at me, the girl with an eyebrow piercing and a nose piercing dressed all black, all year round. A weirdo as people like to say. An outcast.
"Thanks for helping me out." The sound of Jaden's voice pulls me back to reality and I turn my head to face him. "I'm Jaeden." Yeah like there isn't a person in this god forsaken city that doesn't know who he is. "It's nice to meet you, Mia. Sorry for being such a dick back there. I just am not really used to girls not wanting me to be their friend, unless they're gay." I can't even get mad at him for how arrogant that sounded because sadly it's the truth.
I shrug, looking back out towards the water. "Why would I want someone who doesn't want me?"
"Fair enough." He takes a seat beside me, our shoulders brushing with how close he is.
I shift away from him, not wanting to give him any ideas. "Just because I helped you doesn't make us friends."
"Why not?" He shuffles around in his bag, pulling out a bottle of some kind of alcohol and taking a sip as his gaze falls on the scene in front of us.
"I already have a long list of people who have disappointed me, I'd rather not add to it.." I state plainly.
"Cheers to that." Jaden sighs in understanding before taking a chug of his drink.
We sat in comfortable silence, him sipping away at his drink as I skipped stones. I hate to admit that it felt nice having someone here with me, even though we weren't talking. His presence was comforting and I liked how he didn't seem to mind my attitude much. I could simply be myself and not have to apologize for hurting his feelings. However it was getting far too late,and I needed to start heading back home soon to check on the kids.
I turn to tell him that I have to leave, but he's already standing and looking down at me. His full height finally hits me as he towers over me. The light from the moon casts a shadow on his face, sharpening his features and I can't deny that he's good looking, but I'll never admit it outloud, his head is big enough as is.
I stand up and take a step back to put distance between us. "Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? Fucking weirdo."
His head falls back in laughter, making me roll my eyes once again. " What can I say, you're easy on the eyes. Even if you do dress in all black and look like you're going to a My Chemical Romance concert and you've got a resting bitch face." He leans down, inspecting my face further,  "It shocks me you don't wear makeup like all these other girls."
I put my hand up and he backs off. "I don't dress to please anyone besides myself. So, there's no point in me doing my makeup. It's hard and it makes me feel like a clown."
He shrugs, "Well,  good to know."
I looked up at him, knowing he didn't really mean what he was saying. He was only making conversation because to him it was pointless to just sit in silence.. I was fine skipping rocks, he's just an extrovert...unfortunately.
I hated extroverts. Why did they have to be so talkative all the time? Why can't they just enjoy the peace and quiet? I just can't stand the idea of talking constantly, especially considering I have an annoying ass voice. Before you say anything, yes I'm insecure. It's just everything I have been told the past ten years and it's not something I like to think about. Yet, it continues to just flow through my brain. Even after I tell it to stop. This isn't the life I want to live. I want to get out of this stupid state. Get away from all the voices that keep feeding me bullshit.
I shake the thoughts from my head before picking up my skateboard and looking back up at him. It had to have been over an hour by now and I really needed to get home."You want to head back now?"
He just took a swig of whatever the hell might be in that bottle. "Not yet."
Despite myself I stayed with him, not wanting to leave the moment quite yet. I could hear all the animals and bugs come to life in the trees and bushes nearby. It was actually nice to hear. They made me feel like I wasn't alone in this and it was music to my ears.
There were just some things you never told people because they didn't deserve to know all about you. For example, every little detail about your life. People were only good for one thing and that was destroying one another. There was no need to showcase who I was to a traitor. I don't care how close we may be, I refuse too. Your true friends would never take your personal faults and use them against you while they know you're trying to get better. They did not need to know that. So, keeping myself locked away in a cell in my mind made me feel ten times more safe. People could never make me feel safe in this cruel, cruel, world.
People never truly felt sorry. The way I know I'm sorry is I get this feeling in my gut that makes me feel guilty for doing something I shouldn't have. There was a stop in me and that was how I knew that's how I should apologize. Not because it hurt someone's feelings because that would be the only time I'm actually genuine in myself. I hate lying. I can't do it. I just wish people in this world were good and didn't feel the need to get peoples hopes up.
Whether it be in any sort of relationship or friendship. I just hated it. Why did people feel the need to lie about everything? Why couldn't some just be genuine for once? Was that too much to ask for? Did people not understand the damage it could do to someone they're close with? I always kept it real with the kids because they deserve to be able to understand at some point. No matter the cost. However, they didn't need to understand the harsh reality of the world. They already got enough glimpses of that in the trailer.
It was sad but it was indeed the truth. Those kids have seen a lot but that didn't change who they were.