P S Y C H E

Chapter Three

Mia

I snap out of it when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I instantly pulled away. I just stood up and relaxed, seeing that it was just Jaeden.
I see a flash of concern in his eyes before it quickly fades "You ready?"
I simply nod, allowing him to lead the way back to the playground, keeping a tight grip on my board as we walked in silence. For once in my life I hated the silence, I had a lot I wanted to say but I decided to keep quiet instead.
Once we make it back to the playground we're blinded by the headlights of the white mustang Jaden and his friends pulled up to the park in. The group had been waiting in the car for Jaeden to return to wherever he had disappeared too. Including Ana.
Miles climbs over Tony to stick his head out the driver side window, "What do we got here, hm?" Tony glares at him, but lets it happen as Miles turns his head to speak to him "Yo Tony, isn't Jaeden dating Ana? Why is he with this emo looking bitch?" The question is asked to Tony, but is clearly directed to Jaedan who doesn't say a word.
I look down, not letting the words get past my walls. Miles wasn't the first to judge me and definitely wouldn't be the last "Well, there's your ride. I'm leaving now."
I go to walk away but Jaeden's hand wraps around my wrist, holding me in place, "Thank you. I'll see you later."
I hear one of the car's doors open, then slam close, followed by Tony's scoff. "Ana get back into the car. I will leave your ass here."
Ana ignores his warning, stomping over to Jaeden and I and ripping his hand from my wrist. I quickly step back, not wanting to get involved with another girl's man. Ana forces her mouth on Jaeden's, kissing him deeply with her eyes closed. I can't help but cringe when she adds her tongue into the mix. I turn around and start in the direction of the trailer, trying but failing to ignore the burning feeling of Jaeden's eyes on my back even while he's kissing her back.
I slip my earbuds back into my ears, but before my music starts to play once more I overhear Tony's words of distaste, "What the fuck were you thinking J? Especially with Ana here? Look, I'm all here for the more than one girl, but that one's just fucking weird."
Everyone thought I was weird, Tony. Get in line. I don't hear Jaeden's response, but I watch as he shakes his head and gets into the car before they make a sharp turn and drive away from the park. I was still trying to process everything that just occurred when I looked down at my phone and my blood ran cold when I saw the time.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit." It was three in the fucking morning. I still had to get home, shower and be up in three hours to get to school on time. Not including making sure everyone was asleep and taking care of the kids. Fuck. My. Life.
I push myself faster on my board, reaching the trailer in a little over ten minutes. Peter's car sat in the drive through, which wasn't much of a surprise, it's not like he had a job, or any reason to leave. I ducked down to avoid being seen from the windows, not taking any risks even if the lights were off. I picked up the screwdriver from under my window, efficiently taking out the screen and sneaking back into my room, staying as quiet as possible as not to wake Leah who remained sleeping on my bed. She had stirred a little but not too much which put my heart at ease. I tip-toed my way to the bedroom's attached bathroom and started up a shower. I could already feel the exhaustion seeping into my muscles, it was going to be a long day, but I'd survive.
I've done this before. I could do it again. It honestly was just a habit at this point. I'd just lie and blame my lack of sleep on the rain. I know I said I hate liars, but I hate liars that lie to good people. A liar to a bad person doesn't make me feel guilty whatsoever. In the end, it's honestly their fault. Not mine. They raised a liar, not me.
    After my shower, I made sure to brush my teeth and pull my hair up, so that way I didn't feel it on my neck as I slept. I carefully climbed into bed beside Leah, taking the headphones from her head and placing them to the side, along with my phone. I gently wrapped my arms around her, holding her close and safe because her, Liam Sam and Percv were the only things that kept me going.
    Some nights I couldn't help but question, would it be better if I was dead? Would the kids be happier? They wouldn't have to watch as their older sister and cousin tears herself apart, draining herself of everything she has to take care of them. It wasn't their fault their parents refused to parent them, rather they couldn't parent them, because they were dead. I shake the thought from my head, feeling like a coward at the thought of leaving these poor kinds to fend for themselves. I glanced down at my wrists and knew it was time for bed as I had to fight back the urge to cut, to get some kind of relief. Self-harm was like any other drug. The high was just ten times better.