Bird Wings

Chapter 5

The next few days were just as uncomfortable, but much less tempestuous. They followed the same routine as before, with Hawk coming and going as he pleased and Wren's boredom only punctuated by short trips to the mountaintop. They were both quiet.

Wren continued to battle a variety of emotions. She switched from one passionate extreme to another all while staring at the same bumpy rock wall, one excruciating minute at a time. She couldn't decide if she was right or not. It was ridiculous, unthinkable, to imagine that she should have been ready to abandon everything she'd ever known for someone who probably wasn't even human. And yet, how Hawk's behaviour haunted her! The things he had said, the pain in his voice, the horrible dead look that had come into his eyes after she wouldn't give in. He had left her alone all night after that, and long enough into the morning after that she had begun to look out over the treetops with a panicky worry in her gut. It was horrible to see him look that way, after how he had spoken about his life, and then not see him for that long. When he had returned she knew she was grateful for the long break from his company, but before then she had worried.

Wasn't that too sympathetic? Hadn't she decided not to let him ruin her? But then, if he never came back she was in for a terrible end herself. His selfishness would have reached the ultimate height. She didn't want him to stay alive just so she would continue to have her basic needs met and a hope of escape, though. She didn't wish him dead - only resisted the idea that she should have an active part in his life. He had placed that responsibility on her without her permission.

But his story had done its work. Now Wren couldn't look at him without seeing the pain and isolation written on every feature. She couldn't help but think about the little boy who had given away his toys because he thought he was dying. Where were the people who had received those things? Why was she facing blame and guilt now, when they had abandoned him so many years before? Those people should have been the ones to accept him, not Wren. How could one girl be a replacement for an entire orphanage, or a town?

That brought her to think of her own village, the ones who had made Hawk into a bad omen. If she blamed Hawk's hometown for driving him out, she could also blame her neighbours and family for the same thing. It was useless to think they might've behaved differently, she knew they all would have reacted to him exactly as she had.

Was that really true? If he had been brave enough to approach them all, and shown himself at a gathering of some kind, how would the villagers have acted? If they could have accepted him perhaps Wren's behaviour wasn't so justified, but if they would have run or attacked maybe Hawk's desperate action wasn't so inexcusable.

She was going insane. The cave walls were closing in on her, and she would never have a rational thought again. Wren lurched to her feet and turned towards Hawk, who had just come back from somewhere.

"I need to go outside!" She told him.

He complied without comment, and soon her feet were on the grass that covered the clifftop. She took a few steps away from him and then stood still, breathing slowly as the breeze tangled her hair. She usually avoided looking towards the edge from this spot, but today she turned to face it and stared out at the vast sky.

The valley below her was mostly trees. They covered the ground in an almost unbroken carpet, looking soft from this height. Far away, she thought she could see the edge of the forest and grassy fields behind. The furthest met the sky in a hazy blue line that disappeared on one side into the curve of the mountain. And the sky, oh the sky. She had never seen so much of it at once, her view from the village always being framed by the treetops. It was blue today and full of fluffy clouds that piled up on each other like the mounds of cream her mother used to serve over fruit on special occasions. Far far off she could see a few small birds flying, nothing behind them but blue.