Bird Wings

Chapter 20

(Part 2)

Hawk was quickly the most popular individual in the village. His inexperience socially was interpreted as shyness, an attractive quality in someone so good looking and good humoured. Under Wren's advice, he began to accept invitations to visit different households, and left a good impression everywhere he went. He was hesitant but not antisocial, careful yet curious, gentle and funny - no one in the village could get enough of him.

Wren was happy to see it. She took a certain amount of bitter pleasure watching him be an invited guest to homes she was no longer welcome inside. More than one family in the village had decided not to take any chances on Wren, no matter what Doctor Patrew might say. The good doctor himself was more than happy to shake the shop boy's hand when he came by with a delivery, even to hold him back with pleasantries and small talk. Wren found it difficult to hide a smirk when she saw this happen while waiting in the examination room for her now biweekly anti-demon checkup. She listened to the two of them discuss the warmer weather while pretending to study the doctor's collection of talismans. Not one of them saw fit to react in any way to the disguised fiend politely edging his way out the front door.

As of yet, no one knew that she and Hawk had ever had more than one conversation. They continued to meet most evenings somewhere outside to talk, but Wren asked him not to pay much attention to her when they were in public. It hurt her feelings a little, knowing that association with her would inevitably cause his popularity to fade. Any wrong move, really, would knock him off the pedestal, but aligning himself with her might be the fastest route to the bottom.

"Why were you at the doctor's today?" Hawk asked that evening, while he held out a chunk of the cake he had brought for them on the tip of his knife.

"Oh, it was just a checkup. Pretty standard."

"I don't remember you getting a lot of standard checkups before."

Wren took a bite of cake and hesitated. They were sitting on a fallen branch in the woods somewhere near the river.

"I know I'm not one to talk, but you've been kind of secretive lately. Or is this just how you are?" Hawk prodded.

She laughed at him.

"Did you forget for a minute that the reason you used to know things about me is because you're a stalker?"

"I used to be a stalker, thank you very much, but don't get off topic - how come you don't answer my questions?"

Wren sighed and shoved one foot back and forth on the ground, gouging a trough in the dead leaves with the toe of her boot.

"Do you like it here?" She asked.

"Is that off topic too or are you going somewhere with it?"

"I'm going somewhere, but actually I should ask why did you come back here?"

Hawk paused here and she hurried to specify:

"I'm not asking about the - other decision. I'm just saying that you could have gone anywhere, you know? Lots of people here have had chances to see your face, why take that risk?"

"Well, this is where you are."

Her heart fluttered hearing that. Such morbid happiness!

"It's not anything like wanting to prove yourself?" She persisted. "You chose to stay near this village for all those years, and now you have a chance to fit in here and be one of us. Couldn't that be part of the reason?"

He studied his own piece of cake for a moment and then looked at her again. This conversation was edging onto a topic that made her want to sit very still in case her hands tried to move on their own.

"You were the reason I stayed around here back then, too." Hawk told her.

Wren pulled her eyes away from him as quickly as she could. She had to stay focused on her original point, no matter the temptation any particular tangent might present.

"Well," words were thick in her throat. She cleared it impatiently. "The thing is, it's kind of different for me here now. People see me differently."

"Because of me?"

"Well, yes. No one wants to know exactly what happened to me, but they all think it must have been awful enough to... ruin me a little. I'm either worth less than I was before, or at least my word is. I have to be more careful now about disagreeing with anyone, because they might take it as a sign that something's wrong with me."

"Wren!"

"Don't distract me, I'm trying to say something. Just listen.

"The point is, you fit in here right now. People like you. You could get an apprenticeship with any of the tradesmen and marry any of the single girls, or anything you wanted. I love that for you, Hawk. This is what you should have had a long long time ago. When I think about your past, and what it cost for you to be here... I just don't want to ruin any of this for you. I don't want to tell you about what's wrong with this place, or what's been going wrong for me. I want you to be as happy here as possible.

"The truth is, I could ruin everything. Some people would stop talking to you if you spent too much time with me, and everyone else would at least think you're weird. My friend Clay has felt that already, too. My other friends have put some distance between us, and because Clay didn't they distanced from her as well. She has less respect now."

She let that hang in the air for a moment while she gathered her thoughts. She didn't look at Hawk, but was grateful he waited for her to continue.

"I didn't want to answer your questions because I didn't want you to feel guilty, or like you owe me anything, and I want you to be happy here. You deserve to just enjoy all of this without any of my problems."

Wren took a breath. She could feel Hawk's eyes on her face and it made her heart pound in her temples.

"At the end of the day, you're going to have to choose. You can have me," Those words tried hard to stay inside her head. Self preservation struggled against something so revealing. "Or you can have the village. Not both."

Wren's field of vision zeroed in on her knees as Hawk moved next to her. Before he said anything, he took her uneaten cake out of her hand and set it with his own somewhere on his other side. Then she watched as one of his hands came into view and covered hers in her lap.

"You can't see how silly it is to say that that's even a choice for me?" He asked her. "Or that I don't owe you anything? Wren, I owe you everything."

"That's not true." She whispered. "I can't let you ruin your shiny new future on me because you think you have to."

"But you would let me if I wanted to?"

Wren finally met his eyes; his face was close to hers now, and she knew he would kiss her if she only so much as nodded. Tired of waiting, however, and contrary as ever, she closed the space between them herself and found his lips with her own.

This was the sort of kiss she'd been dreaming of all winter: not cut short, not more intense than tender. The sounds of the woods around them paused for this.

Was this really allowed? Was there really nothing now, nobody keeping them from loving each other? Wren moved a shaky hand to his face, barely letting her fingertips touch him. She had been afraid, until that moment, that he would disappear again.

***

Is it realistic to have someone like Hawk, i.e. extremely isolated background, be socially successful with ease? Not really, but it does give me vengeful satisfaction.

-Laura