Bird Wings

Chapter 21

(Part 2)

The second visit was more important, really. Onlookers might think that one invitation could have been accepted out of politeness or by chance, but a second one showed deliberation.

Wren nearly jumped out of her skin when the knock sounded at the front door, even though she'd been sitting waiting for it for nearly fifteen minutes. She stayed rooted to the ottoman she'd picked to sit on while her mother went to let Hawk in.

Her family was as delighted with Hawk as everyone else. It warmed her heart to see how happy they were to hear he was coming over again, but it stung too. They were just as glad to have her moving away from a bad reputation as they were to see her happier. Would they be this excited about a boy that she just liked, who had nothing else to bring to the table? Free of regret as she was, Wren did sometimes get tired of seeing so much more than before. Last time this had happened she'd gloried in the status of it all just as much as anyone else. Now she kind of missed the secrecy she and Hawk had had last week.

He came and sat near her, eyes shining. Activity, regular meals, and a roof over his head had certainly helped to make him look healthy. He no longer had sadness written all over his face, it hid in corners now. The pain had retreated deep into his eyes until she thought she might be the only one who could still see it.

Wren's mother disappeared around a corner, on the hunt for refreshments, and Hawk took the opportunity to sneak a kiss. She was pulled abruptly out of her reverie and into a spirit of fun.

"Hi." he said.

"How was work?"

"Fine. I rearranged the fabric by colour."

"I can't imagine how that shopkeeper did without you."

She risked kissing his smile a second time, a dangerous choice as someone was coming down the hallway towards them. They moved to a more modest distance apart just as her father turned into the room.

"Hawk! I heard you were coming again today. That rabbit didn't scare you off last time?"

"No, hello sir, it was delicious. You and your wife are excellent cooks."

Wren sat still with her chin on her hand and watched them discuss a new dock that was being built on the river to house the villages' growing number of boats. Was this how this could feel? She vividly remembered being bored to tears so many times when Cobin had visited, and had somehow simply concluded that boys were just not interesting all the time. The unbelievable lengths she had gone to to justify the way she had wanted to live baffled her sometimes.

She was halfway through being overwhelmed by how much she loved to see him sitting there and listening to her father so politely when her mind suddenly drew a picture of how he'd look at that moment with the missing wings. They would have had to curve around him a little for him to fit on the sofa they were both sitting on, and she could imagine his head and shoulders peeking out of a wall of feathers. It would have been positively endearing to see him try to navigate a home, with all its nicknacks and breakables.

Wren's heart ached, looking at the outline of his shoulders, the empty space around them. She had hardly ever seen someone who'd been maimed before, and never one this unnecessary. Healthy, useful, miraculous wings, gone and discarded for what? So he could sit in a girl's living room and drink her mother's tea? He was, so far, so successful in this world, but he'd been cut down into only an ordinary man. No one else would ever even know what he'd lost.

She wished that she had enjoyed flying even once. She should have asked him to fly with her somewhere low to the ground so she could learn to like it. She should have gotten over herself the tiniest bit before it was too late.

That was it, though. He'd said it himself from the beginning: it was just too late now. No regret, guilt, or amount of grief could change that. Maybe it was kindest to look at it as if it was something necessary. Kind to who, though? The one's to blame for this had not been the ones to actually do it. Wren couldn't be furious at them without stirring up Hawk's pain, but she couldn't forgive them without turning her back on it. This was just how things were now.

"Wren, sweetheart, please stay awake."

Wren blinked. Everyone was looking at her, and she realised she must have missed a cue. Her parents were probably already worried that this nice young man would see now that their daughter had something seriously wrong with her and never come back again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

***

This is so so sad and simultaneously so so cute.

-Laura