We're Not Alone

Chapter 21

TW- eating disorder. No counting calories but long period of time without eating discussed.

shit, shit, shit, I slept through my alarm, school started at 7:30 and it's 7:45 now. I jump out of bed, and into the shower, if I'm gonna be late I might as well be clean and late. I blow dry my hair part of the way, putting it into 2 braids to hide that it's still a little damp. I throw on some jeans and a crochet sweater and grab my bag heading downstairs.

"Oh there you are honey, how are you feeling? I didn't want to wake you for school since Noah said you were feeling awful." I smile "I'm feeling a lot better now, I think I just needed some sleep. I'm gonna head to school, I know I'm late but better than not going" she smiles and gives me a quick hug. "Okay sweetie, I'm glad you're doing better. Is it okay if me and your dad still go on our trip this weekend?" I nod "Yeah that's fine, Would it be okay if I have some friends spend the night Saturday?" She gives me a big smile "Of course! Is it Leo? Or Ben and Milo as well?" I smile, happy she remembers their names,I've only talked about them to her a few times. "All three of them." I pause before adding "If thats okay?" she nods "That sounds wonderful, I'm so glad you've made new friends since Delilah's gone, I know you were worried about that." I smile and we talk for another minute before I grab a coffee and leave.

I respond to texts in the group chat asking where I am from this morning, telling them I slept in. When I get to Bio Leo is already there, his expression is one that hard to read, part of which is confusion. "What's up?" I ask him as I sit down. "Nothing, I was just worried about you, you sleeping in is unheard of" I nod, recalling that I've told him I'm not a morning person but I manage to always wake up on time. "I know, I felt sick after work yesterday, I took a nap and slept through my alarm." I pause before adding "I feel almost all better, I think I was just tired" he nods "I'm glad." He looks relieved and we go back to our normals selves for the rest of the class.

"Hey! Scarlett are you okay? We were worried about you" Milo says as we walk into our lunch spot. I smile at them "Yeah, thanks, I just wasn't feeling well yesterday and I slept through my alarm" they smile, nodding. "Oh and my parents said its totally fine for you guys to come over tomorrow night." We start figuring out plans, we're all excited, but I remember I need to do my homework. "Shit I need do the math homework and next periods" they nod and continue there conversations amongst themselves, Leo giving me a slightly concerned look but nonetheless leaving me to my work which I luckily finish quite quickly. Milo and I chat during math class, mainly about this weekend and yesterday's exam.

"Okay, so Leo will come over to mine after work tomorrow, and you two will come over at 5?" They all nod with a smile "I can't wait" Ben says and we all agree before going our own ways, me giving Leo a ride to work again. "Are you sure you're okay? You got here late and hadn't done your homework, which is odd for you." I give him a smile, "I'm sure, I'm not sure what happened yesterday. I just felt really sick, but I promise I'm okay now" I give him another smile, which he returns and we chat away. When I told him I'm okay, I wasn't really lying. Physically, I feel much better, still a bit tired, but otherwise great. Mentally I'm not doing too well, the loneliness and general sadness still creeping in, but being around friends is helping a lot.

***

"Are you going to sit there and laugh at me or help?" Leo says while laughing. Today I'm supposed to teach him how to do the multicolored swirl frosting, that he couldn't do on the pride parade day. Each time he does it, it comes out brown. I'm not laughing at him for not doing it right, I'm laughing at him for how angry he's getting when it doesn't look right. "laughing at you is pretty fun" he rolls his eyes so I reach my hand out for the icing bag. "see light pressure at the top, no pressure at the bottom" he rolls his eyes again, his head leaning back "That's what I'm doing" he groans. "Here, hold it" he does as I say, and I readjust his hands "now try" a perfect rainbow swirl comes out "oh my god I could cry, I thought we would be here forever" he says with a giant grin

"Good job, now try on your own, if you get it we'll be done" he sighs, but a few tries later he's got it down, and we clean up and head out. When I drop him off he starts to walk towards his house but turns around to face me, "get some sleep" I nod "I will, I'll be here at 8:40 to get you in the morning, okay?" he nods "yes, thank you" we smile and I head home.

**

"I'll see you guys Sunday night, I love you, have fun!" I smile "we love you too, have fun, and tell Noah we said bye" I hug both my parents before they head out. I'm already ready for the day and I don't need to leave for 30 minutes so I decide to clean up a little, Noahs video games are thrown about, and my room has a few things thrown around, so I fix all of them before heading to pick up Leo. Noah had already planned staying at Tommy's tonight, so we'll have the house to ourselves. I'm feeling much better, a little tired and cold, but nothing I can't handle.

Leo hops in the car, his signature leather jacket, and a mischievous smile. "Hi, I brought you coffee" I grab the travel mug he's handing me, filled with black coffee. Before I can say thank you he speaks up "I know, I know, we're literally going to a coffee shop but I figured you could use some" I chuckle "thank you Leo" he smiles and we're on our way to work.

**

"I can't believe she was so rude" I laugh to Leo as we pull into my driveway. He chuckles "all of that over her not knowing what a damn cappuccino is" I laugh and we head inside, we only have 1 hour before Milo and Ben get here, and Leo ate lunch at work, he assumes I did too.

The tiredness is hitting me. "Want anything to drink?" I ask Leo as he tosses his overnight bag on the kitchen island. "Do you have coke?" I nod "ice?" he rolls his eyes, both knowing he hates room temperature drinks. I grab 2 glasses filling them with ice and pouring our drinks in.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back in second" I say, Leo nods and pulls out his phone. As I walk to the bathroom I feel a little dizzy, but brush it off, making my way down the hall. After I wash my hands the dizziness gets a little worse, I grip the bathroom sink to catch my balance and open the door waking down the hall. Leo looks up and smiles, but I watch his face turn into concern as the dizziness comes back, strong, making me lose my balance. I stop and put my arm towards the wall to support me.

Leo jumps out of his seat, "Scar are you okay?" I nod, but my vision starts blurring "Uh yeah, just dizzy. maybe I stood up to fast." But it becomes very clear I'm not okay when I fall slightly, my shoulder hitting the wall but I use my arm to support me. He's by my side now, putting a hand on my arm and guiding it around his shoulder so I can lean on him. He leads me to island since it's the closest place to sit down. As soon as I do my vision starts to clear, but the lightheadedness is still there. I try and think of when I last ate. The day before I tried those jeans on, so Tuesday at lunch, it's Saturday now, shit Scarlett, you messed up this time.

Leos voice brings me back to the present "are you okay? are you sick? I can tell ben and milo not to come" I cut him off "No, no, I'm okay, I think I just need to eat something" he nods, confusion on his face "Have you eaten anything today?" I shake my head, "Just coffee" he scoffs, "yeah thats not food" I roll my eyes "yeah, yeah I know" I say it with a laugh and Leo gives a smile before his face falls serious.

"When do you last eat something?" I tilt my head in confusion. He can't know, can he? fuck, fuck, FUCK. if he finds out the truth, it's all over. I know I messed up this time, I've never gone this long without eating. I let my eyes wander briefly as if I'm thinking "Uh yesterday" I lie, pausing before adding another lie "I ate dinner" I say, hoping its good enough.

He gives me a nod and a smile "What do you want?" he asks, but I wave my hand "I can grab something" he shakes his head immediately "No, no stay sitting down, we can't have you fainting" I laugh, "Uh maybe just some cheese and crackers or fruit, I think there's some chopped up in the fridge" he nods and smiles, "that, I can do"

A few minutes later he puts a plate of sliced cheese, ritz crackers and cut up fruit in front of me. I swallow, I want to eat, I know its gone on to long this time but it's still a little daunting. He just smiles, after a few bites his smile turns into something more serious, "Why didn't you eat at the bakery?"

I tilt my head in confusion "we both normally eat there" he says it more as a question "I honestly just wasn't hungry, and then I kind of forgot, but I'm already feeling better", I give him a smile, he returns one, but it falters briefly, into something of concern.

"Scar, did you really eat last night?" I tilt my head, pretending to be confused but his expression doesn't change much, just softens slightly when I dont answer.

"Scarlett, when is the last time you actually ate? It wasn't last night, was it?"