LOKI IMAGINES

I Can't Bear to Lose You

Something short and sweet because it's Autumn and we all need a good yearning moment from time to time.

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It didn't burden Loki to take care of you. If it were any other circumstance, he would've loved it- cherished every possible moment he got to simply dote on you with no repercussions. He absolutely relished fussing over you and your wellbeing. Even when you were being stubborn, trying to reject his affections, he would just take your ramblings as an added bonus.

Tonight, though, Loki was growing weary.

He had been taking care of you, along with your doctors and nurses, for the past week. Your vitals had been stable since your first day out of operation, but you still haven't woken up despite all of their efforts.

It was worrying him.

More than it should.

He knows you're strong. He knows your soul would put up a massive fight before surrendering to the clutches of Heaven or Hell or whatever end you believed in. He knows you wouldn't leave him.

Especially not like this.

Not lying unconsciously in a hospital bed, just barely alive to keep your body functioning, your mind merely dormant.

No.

You weren't going to leave him. Not by any means.

If you were just a little more selfish, a little less righteous, and a whole lot less impulsive, you would've been alright. You would've been arguing with Loki about something stupid and irrelevant right now. Not enduring the sufferings of others.

Steve Rogers already had a plan.

All you had to do was stick to it.

Gods damn your stubbornness. The Captain had back up already called, it wouldn't be a moment more before they arrive. But, you and all your cryokinesis, had you believing you were fine against a burning building.

Norns.

No, he wasn't going down this route. He won't let himself blame your selfless nature when you hardly blamed him for his.

His chaos, his deception, his ill-temper, his impatience. You didn't blame him once, didn't use those qualities of his as a weapon against him. You tried to understand him instead.

And, you understood all of it: his selfishness, his sarcasm, his anger, his sadness. For that, he was grateful.

He had always wanted to repay your kindness, in whatever way he knew how.

This, was not something he envisioned. He imagined something happier, something that got him smirking and you biting back a laugh to deprive him of his satisfaction.

Loki hoped that you wake soon enough, memories in tact, bones all healed, muscles and skin all stitches up and scarred over.

There, bent over your bruised abdomen, he found himself praying again. He prayed to the Norns that gave him his painful path. As much as he resented them, he needed them. He needed them to save you, to keep you from Hel. That was the least they could do after toying with him for centuries.

He practically memorized how your heart beat, how your chest rises and falls with your breath. Loki had watched over your form for a whole week straight, never getting a wink of sleep.

How could he?

You practically slept for two. You were carrying all the weight already.

So, why should he?