Dear Reader...

Chapter Eight

~Juliette~

It's weird how quickly time passes when you don't want it to. How after spending hours talking non-stop with someone you were so nervous to be around turns into not wanting them to drop you home just so you can keep going. I didn't want to leave his car. Didn't want him to let go of my hand. I just want to stay right here, in his passenger seat, holding his hand, watching him laugh and listening to him talk forever.

We'd been in that restaurant until we were kicked out because they were closing. Just sat in some booth in the far-out corner away from everything. We somehow covered a lot and nothing. I told him all about Riley and Anya and growing up back home and we laughed so hard about the differences I definitely have my own 6 pack coming on.

"I had fun with you tonight." We hit my doorway and I knew I needed to add a light for out here onto my list because I could barely see him. It was beyond late, pitch black and freezing out here. He's exhausted. I can see it every time he tries to hide a yawn and despite feeling terrible for keeping him up, I'm glad he still came.

"Me too." Noah took a half step forward, pressed another gentle kiss to my cheek and let go of my hand, stepping away before I could even realize what he'd done.

"I'm gonna go, I have work in the morning. I'll text you?" I nodded at him, watched him get in his car before I turned the key in my lock and stepped back into the warmth that was this crumbling cottage.

He didn't kiss me.

Didn't kiss me, didn't make more plans.

I hadn't even made it to the kitchen by the time I was dialling Riley's face time, letting it ring out whilst I over poured a glass of wine. It's not drinking alone if you're drinking with someone across the world right??

"Juliette."

"He didn't kiss me." I slammed the cupboard door shut, turning to face my phone camera with my too full glass. "Said he had a fun night, kissed my cheek and then left saying he has work in the morning and he'll text me. What is that shit? Not even a shitty little *mwah* just on the cheek. On the cheek."

"Hold on. I need wine."

"It can't have been that bad surely? Like I didn't go into my parents, didn't trauma dump on him, didn't tell him the kind of shit I write, didn't tell him anything that made me seem anything less than completely normal. Didn't tell him about Jordan or anyone else. Just a totally normal girl who moved halfway across the world. Fully functioning, sane, not fucked up human. The most fucking out there it got was talking about you and Anya and he's the one who kept asking questions about you both. I gave him a dozen outs."

"He asked about us?"

"We were talking about back home and I said I lived with you and Ans. I've mentioned you before so he asked how we met and how long we've been friends and then I was talking about how close we were so obviously Ans' birth came into it then we were talking about her. It just flowed into it. We were talking about his younger sister and things too. Nothing weird."

"But he didn't kiss you?"

"I thought he was going to. We were just stood on the doorstep and I'd left the- the hallway light on so there was a little bit of light on him and god, Riles he's so fucking hot I could die. He showed up with flowers, early, called the restaurant this morning to make sure there'd be no nuts anywhere, asked his boss for recommendations because apparently he dated someone a few years back with a gluten intolerance and there's a handful of restaurants around here that are really good with it."

"Wow."

"Right? And get this. We were up texting after you left to sort Anya. It was nearly 3am when I passed out. He started work at 9 so he had to be up at 8."

"Shit."

"Mhm. Made the calls whilst he was working. Finished work early ran home to get changed and still, STILL, managed to get fucking-" I pulled the mason jar filled with flowers across the counter. "Still managed to pick these up on his way."

"The guy really went all out."

"All fucking out." I nodded quickly. "I have never been able to have conversations flow as smoothly as they did tonight. Just everything, it was like second nature. Or- or like he'd sent me a script beforehand and I knew what he was going to say and I had an answer preprepared. And he grabbed my hand in the car after he picked me up and asked me shit about the house just so I'd get over the nerves. After we'd eaten he did the same. Like moved the candle out of the way on the table and just held my hand right there. We played- we played footsie under the table like we were 13-year-olds Riles. It got so aggressive the table shook and my glass of water went everywhere and we just started cackling." Riley settled back down into the couch, smiling softly at me.

"Sounds like you had a good night."

"It would have been perfect if the guy fucking kissed me." She chuckled.

"I think you're being a little dramatic Jules. You said he barely slept right? He could have been exhausted and just wanted to go home. Or maybe he didn't want to overstep, make you think he was rushing it or anything. It's not like you've known this guy long is it? You've literally only met him 3 times. Maybe he's strictly a second date kisser." I sighed, laying my head back on my shoulders.

Maybe she's right.

I don't know. I just really wanted him to kiss me. It's okay for me to be a little disappointed that it didn't happen right?

"Stop overthinking it Jules."

"You're right. Of course, you're right. I'm being stupid. It's nothing. How was your day?"

"Ugh, do not even get me started. Kai is a fucking knob."

"Could have told you that."

"No, I'm not even joking. Like who the fuck turns around to a 5 year old and tells her- his own fucking daughter might I add- who turns around to her and says Santa won't bring presents to both houses?"

"He did not."

"Mhm then fucking told me he's not letting her believe in it so all his gifts are going to be from him and fucking Sarah. Who, by the way, is demanding Anya calls her mom."

"She is fucking not."

"Honestly. Took everything in me not to rip the whores head off her fucking shoulders and punt it down the corridor."

"Id've done it for you. The absolute nerve of them both."

"Right? I can't wait for Anya to be old enough to decide she doesn't want to go. In the meantime, I'm just telling her Sarah isn't her fucking mom, I am. She has one mommy and she sure as hell doesn't need a second. I have no idea what to tell her about Santa. I'm gonna have to up the number of gifts I get her and put most of them from some imaginary man so she still feels fucking special."

"I still can't believe you had a kid with him."

"Hmmm. Me neither. But we have Anya from it so I wouldn't undo it."

"You both deserve better than him Riles. So much fucking better."

"Yeah well we can't all be dating some British Barista babe. Some of us have lying, cheating, girlfriend abandoning assholes instead."