Dear Reader...

Chapter Twenty Six

~Noah~

She catches me staring whilst I'm in this never-ending queue. Just as I was finally getting towards the front. So, when I see Riley stand up and Jules is sat there doing everything she can to keep that smile plastered on her face, I know she's hurting just as bad as I am. I've seen that look on her face before. I hate that look so much.

I'm exhausted. I'm out of a job. My palms are sweating like fucking crazy but I'm not letting her get away. I need to talk to her. I need to get her to hear me out and I need her to know she's still the only thing I want.

I have nothing to offer her anymore. She has everything. She has my heart and my thoughts and all of me. Held captive and I know I'll never get it back if I don't try. She says something to a woman in a suit who nods, heads to the entrance where she says 'Annie' has had a family emergency and needs to leave. The woman gives a fake apology, says she hopes to see people at the next signing and I watch as Riley, some 6-foot guy and Anya wheel a double pushchair out of a back door. Juliette heads that way and my feet start moving before I even make my next plan.

I hit the end of the alley way and watch as she helps Riley unload her kids into the car. She must have fallen pregnant immediately after she got home from visiting us because those kids had to be like 6 months old.

I walk slower. Not wanting to freak the kids out. But Anya spots me, tilts her head.

"Uncle Noah?" The girls freeze, stare at each other, fasten the 2 babies into the car.

"Ans, your turn babe." The man lifts Anya, putting her into the car.

"Juliette." She looks over her shoulder, eyes so clouded I barely recognise her.

"Sorry, I think you've got the wrong person." The little girl giggles at her and Jules taps a finger to her nose carefully.

"You know I don't Juliette. Please just give me 5 minutes." She looks over the car at Riley.

"You good over there?" Riley nods. "I'll meet you guys at home." Juliette turns and walks away, doesn't give me another look. Any sane person would leave it. Get the hint and leave. Move on with their lives.

Unluckily for her, I have lost my sanity over the past 14 months and I can't just let her walk away. I can't watch my future leave without fighting for it.

"I'm not leaving Juliette."

"You really have the wrong person." She reaches a car and I move quicker to stop her getting in. She pulls the door open barely an inch before I slam my hand into it so it shuts again. I'm so close I can smell that same perfume. The one she only wore when she was going out. It's sweet but not sickly and the reminder of it alone has my knees buckling like they do at every single memory of her. "Let me-"

"No. Look at me."

"No."

"Juliette." She shakes her head.

"I'm not-" I turn her around, push her back against the car.

"Stop." She scowls at me with wet eyes, sniffs. "I need to explain Jules. It's all a misunderstanding. I dropped my phone in a puddle and it wouldn't turn on. I had to send it off to get fixed and I didn't have your number saved anywhere other than on the phone. I messaged Chris but he said you hadn't come in. He stopped by the cottage when he had a chance but you never answered the door. Look. I got-" I pushed my hand into each of my pockets. I kept it. I kept it to prove to her I wasn't lying. If I ever needed to and I'm so fucking glad I did. I held it up in her line of sight, begging her to look. "The receipt from getting it fixed. It has- it's got the dates on it Jules. Please. Look." She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

"Let me go Noah."

"No. No. I can't let you go Jules. 14 months I've been looking for you and now you're right here and I'm not fucking letting you go now. I can't. Please look at me Jules. Look at me and see I'm not lying." She pulled on the car handle but I wasn't letting her go. "Baby-"

"No."

"I'm sorry Juliette. I could have done so much more. I should have. I should have made sure you knew. I should have fucking- I don't know written a letter, sent flowers or- or something. I shouldn't have just waited for it to come back. There was just so much going on and I wish I can say that those 2 weeks were the worst of my life but they aren't. The 14 months since have been. I can't eat Jules. Can't sleep. You're everywhere. I can't stop. I miss you so much it's killing me. I feel like I'm drowning in it Jules and I hate myself so much for not giving you what you deserved. Please. Please Juliette. I'm begging you right now. I'll get on my knees. Just look at me."

She takes a shaky breath, blows it out slowly before opening her eyes. How is it possible for someone to be this fucking perfect. 14 months later and my heart still aches for her.

I put my hand on her face, stroking a thumb gently over her cheek.

"I'm so sorry Juliette. I know I fucked up. I know what I did and I swear, give me another chance and you won't regret it. You are what I want Jules. You're all I want. I literally flew across the world just to see you. Just so you'd hear me out because I can't do it anymore. I don't know who I am without you Jules." Everything about her right now wept every drop of pain I'd given her because I just didn't think for more than 2 minutes.

"I'm not going back to the UK. Ever."

"Fine." I nod quickly. "Are you local? I'll move here."

"Noah."

"I'm not joking Juliette. I'm deadly serious. I have nothing back home anymore. I quit my job to come out here. I left Satbury not long after you because I couldn't stand it. I was waiting for you to turn around every single corner. I'll move. Tell me you're moving across Canada and I'll follow. If you go on a road trip I'll buy a fucking van. I do not care." She blinks at me but I can see the battle going on behind her flawless eyes. "Let me get it right this time Jules. I promise I'll get it right. Nothing's changed." She almost laughs. In one breath that sounds more exasperated than anything I've ever heard her give out. "Tell me no Jules. Tell me there's someone else now and you're happier than I ever made you. Tell me you don't miss me at all baby and I'll hate it but I'll go." She stares at me for a few seconds, long lashes blinking slowly. And then she shakes her head. No. "You can't can you? Because there isn't."

"It's complicated."

"Then let me uncomplicate it." I wrapped one arm around her, pulling her up and kissing her. I waited. For her to push back. To refuse me. Tell me I was out of line and had it all wrong. I waited for a boyfriend or maybe fiancé to show up out of the blue and knock me out. But instead of the push back I was expecting, Jules whimpered, grabbing my tee-shirt, and pulling me closer.

She doesn't feel any different. Tastes like coffee. Nothing has changed. I pull back, rest my forehead down and hold her ever closer. Not letting go. I'm never ever letting go.

"I need to go." I shake my head. "Noah. I really really need to go. I need to get home."

"Now?"

"Mhm." She nods.

"Okay. Okay, yeah." I stand up. "Dinner. Tonight? I'll pick you up. Say 6?"

"Can we do 8?" Jules shits slightly, digging about in her bag and pulling out paper and a pen. "It's after bedtime for the kids then."

"Oh yeah. Riley had twins? Huge news. Tell her congratulations." She scribbles on the paper, pushes it into my chest. "What are their names?"

"8 o'clock. That's my address. You're not coming in and I have to be back by midnight."

"Midnight?" She nods. "Okay. 4 hours. I can do 4 hours." I step back and let her open the car door. "I'm not going to fuck it up Jules."

"We'll see." She turns the engine on, closes the door and leaves. Leaving me stood there in some side street in Toronto with her scent still all over me. I'm not leaving this up to chance.