Dear Reader...

Chapter Thirty

~Juliette~

"Auntie Jules?"

"Mhm." I stirred the pot on the stove, turning the heat down.

"Where's my dad?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know mom said I can call Ste dad if I want to but he's not is he?"

"That's a difficult question to answer."

"Why?" Here we go ladies and gentlebeings. The answer her mom's told everyone around us to give her. As if it wouldn't be me she asked.

"What does being a dad mean to you?" I turned the heat down, turning and wiping my hands on the towel before tossing it across my shoulder.

"To me?"

"Yeah. What does it mean to be a dad?"

"There's things you have to do?"

"Okay. Let's try this. When you ask me where your dad is, what do you actually want to know?"

"Why don't I have one?"

"Right. Why do you want a dad?"

"I don't know." I watched her colouring in, slowly putting the pencil down. "Everyone else has one."

"Do you feel left out?" She nods. "Left out of what?"

"They get to go to the park and their dad's buy them ice cream and they build forts and play baseball and go to hockey games."

"Okay. Is there a man in your life you already do that with?" She thinks. Hard. "Because here's the thing with daddy's Ans. Sometimes the men that help to make us with mommy. That give mommy that seed. Sometimes they are only important because of that seed and sometimes they don't want a baby but give mommy the seed anyway. Giving your mom the seed doesn't make someone a daddy. It's someone you love, that loves you, that supports you and helps you when your sad and when you cut your knee, who picks you up from school when your poorly and rubs your back when you're sick or helps you when you have a bad dream. Someone that mommy knows and that is with you all the time."

"Like Ste?"

"Do you think Ste is like a dad?" She nods. "Then there you go babe. Ste didn't give your mommy the seed but-"

"He acts like my dad?"

"Do you think he does?"

"Yeah. And I love him like my dad. He takes me for ice cream and to the park and we watch cartoons and he reads me my books every single night and mommy loves him."

"Well, there you go then."

"Ste is my daddy." The doorbell rings and I pull the towel off my shoulder.

"Ans, watch the twins for me? I'll be two seconds. Shout me okay?"

"Okay." I leave the 3 of them in the kitchen. Twins in their highchairs, watching TV on the tablet on the counter. Completely mesmerized by dancing fruit. Anya starts telling them both about how they don't have a daddy but they'll get one when they're older and maybe Ste will be their daddy. Not a chance. I love Ste like you love water. Great in small amounts but a flood is too much. I pull the door half open, blinking and narrowing my eyes slightly.

"Hi." Shirt and suit pants, he drops a bag down to his feet, pulls out a bouquet of roses.

"What are you doing here Noah?"

"I've come to see my girlfriend and my kids." Girlfriend- Noah steps forward, kisses my cheek and wraps an arm around my back. What the fuck is happening right now? "It was never going to be a question Jules. I just had to work out a job and somewhere to live before I could come here and promise you I'm not going anywhere." I have no words. I don't know what to do or say or anything. I was expecting him to never be heard from again. "Say something Jules."