Your Name

34| "We are just friends."

╰┈➤𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐕*ೃ༄

I had been consciously working to create a distance between P'Yin and myself. It wasn't an easy task, considering how naturally drawn I was to him. I had done everything in my power, to keep from revealing too much of myself to him. It would be a lie if I denied the happiness I felt when he openly shared his life with me because in the past, I always imagined the moments when he would openly share his thoughts and daily life with me.

But things had changed. Now, I kept prioritizing self preservation over the warmth of P'Yin's presence. I couldn't bear the thought of getting hurt again. So, I always built a wall around my emotions.

As I got ready for today, I wonder if my efforts were working. Was I truly succeeding in keeping P'Yin at arm's length? The uncertainty gnawed at me. I hoped that my actions would spare me from future heartache.

'Don't love P'Yin again,' I reminded myself.

Descending the stairs, I spotted P'Yin in the kitchen, busily arranging breakfast on the table. My heart skipped a beat and I nervously bit my lower lip, contemplating my next move.

He turned, smiling warmly as he saw me. "I already prepared breakfast for us. Let's eat before—"

"It's okay, P'Yin," I interrupted, my voice wavering slightly as I rubbed my nape uncomfortably. "I...will eat breakfast outside," I added.

My words hang in the air. The silence between us stretched for a few seconds before P'Yin broke it with a tiny smile, nodding in response.

"Then, just...give me a minute to get change," P'Yin responded, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness before walking upstairs.

As P'Yin left, I couldn't shake the somber feeling that had settled within me...My heart ached with the knowledge that I was hurting him and yet, I couldn't find the strength to do otherwise. I had to protect myself, even if it meant putting distance between us.

I couldn't allow history to repeat itself...

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

The car sliced through the streets as P'Yin navigated the route to the cafe where I had planned to meet P'Earth. I fiddled with my fingers, my gaze drifting occasionally towards P'Yin, whose expression was a mosaic of emotions he chose not to verbalize.

A subtle crease formed on his forehead, a hint of sorrow or perhaps disapproval lurking behind his eyes. It was evident that he harbored reservations about my decision to "meet someone important," though he wisely refrained from voicing his thoughts. After all, I had maintained a distance between us.

"War," P'Yin's voice finally pierced through the stifling silence.

I turned my head to meet his eyes for a moment. "Yes?"

His lips parted but he hesitated as if choosing his words. "You...you really have moved on from me?" He inquired softly.

My eyes instinctively dropped to my lap as if the answer lay hidden in the folds of my clothing. The seconds stretched on. P'Yin's question was a blade that cut deep into the core of our unresolved emotions. Admitting to moving on would be a blatant lie. The truth, it seemed, was an elusive and perilous thing.

"War...I just want to understand. I want to know where we...stand."

I could hear the underlying plea in his voice, a desperate desire to bridge the gap that had between us. It was a plea that echoed my own conflicted feelings.

"We..." I bit my lower lip and slightly adjusted my glasses. "We are just friends. I...I don't love P'Yin anymore," I said, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.