Your Name

31| "I want to make amends."

╰┈➤𝐘𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕*ೃ༄

"I will take care of him," I assured War's mother. "You don't need to worry."

War's mother nodded, her eyes brimming with tears and she reached out to gently touch my shoulder. "I know you will, Yin. Thank you for looking out for War. For me, he's still a baby."

I smiled warmly as I stared at War, who was standing beside his mother. He seemed to avoid eye contact with me, his head slightly bowed.

As we got into my car, I couldn't help but reflect on the unexpected turn of events that had led us to this moment. Bringing War to Bangkok, alongside me had filled me with happiness. My father's sudden suggestion that we stayed together felt like a twist of fate, a chance to rebuild everything and most importantly, to seek War's forgiveness. It was as though the universe had granted me an opportunity for redemption and I couldn't ignore it.

"Your seatbelt," I said gently to War, reaching out to ensure his safety.

He hesitated for a moment, his body stiffening as I leaned in to button his seatbelt. His face reddened and it was clear that the close proximity was making him uneasy.

With the seatbelt securely fastened, I turned to look at War, our faces now mere inches apart. War continued to avert his gaze, fixating on anything other than me. It was as if he were building a wall, shutting me out from his thoughts and emotions.

"Let's...go," he finally mumbled.

I offered him a reassuring smile before adjusting my position in the driver's seat. As I started the car and pulled away from War's home, a silence settled between us. I stole occasional glances at War, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

"I hope you understand why I said yes, War," I began, breaking the silence that had lingered for too long. "Living together in Bangkok represents a fresh start for both of us. I know how deeply I have hurt you in the past and I can't change what's already happened. But I want to try, War. I want to make amends and be there for you in any way I can."

War shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes still locked onto the ever changing scenery outside the car window. "I appreciate that P'Yin allowed me to live with P'Yin in Bangkok," he responded. "But...please...just give me a week and I will find my own place."

His words struck me like a blow to the chest. I understood that forgiveness wouldn't come easily but I was determined to earn it, no matter how long it took.

"I understand, War," I replied softly, my voice quivering with remorse. "But..." I hesitated, biting my lower lip in apprehension. "I have already promised your parents that I will take care of you. I can't simply let you move out like that."

A heavy silence descended upon the car.

"And...I work at a publishing company now," I continued, desperately seeking a way to bridge the gap between us. "Your mother mentioned that you want to meet the editor and be a full time writer. How about we help each other? You can focus on your writing while staying with me. And you can apply-"

"No need," he cut me off. "I can do anything on my own. I..." He paused, his grip on his shirt becoming almost painful. "I don't need P'Yin," he said.

The echo of his words remained. The wounds on War were deep and our shared history had left deep scars but I will be trying my best to atone and rebuild our relationship.

I don't want to lose him anymore...

As the car continued down the road, the silence between us persisted.

I gripped the steering wheel. I couldn't help but confront the question that had been gnawing at me from the inside. The words waited for the right moment to escape my lips. With a deep breath, I mustered the courage to ask War the question that had been haunting me.