WLW OneShots

Conflicted Girl Part 4

"You're aware of what you have to do next, right?"
"Yes. I'm ready for the next step, father."
"Do not forget. Throw this phone away - somewhere you're sure no one will find it."
"I will."
Without any goodbyes or come over to have some dinner, my father hangs up while I'm at the lakeside. My family used to go here on vacations but now that my siblings grew up, they stopped. Obviously I was never here, I wasn't allowed to. After my father was sure that I am ready to do what I need to, he let me go wherever in favor of my mission.

What he doesn't know is that I come here every Sunday - just standing at the lakeside, breathing in the wet odor of moss and taking in the relaxed atmosphere which is sometimes disturbed by the fish splashing out of the calm water for just a taste of food. Whenever they do, their hope vanishes, realizing it's not food but just some small piece of chopped wood or a leaf. Watching them sets me at ease - not because they're stupid enough to keep trying. It's because they're trying to look for food and take every chance they get. There is no hope - just everlasting trying.

I want to do the same. I want to try. I don't want to rely on something like hope because in the end I'll also have to anticipate despair. Trying is enough. Doing is—
Doing is something I don't want to achieve just yet. I don't want to cause any harm towards her. Towards what has always been my goal, everything I have known.
What will I have after I did it? After I finished everything? What comes after that?

Visiting this place makes me go insane. Hence the reason I always tell myself I won't be coming here anymore. But every other Sunday I find myself here again - alone. The cold breeze hits my reddened face and I squeeze my eyes shut. Turn everything off. Breathe. Open your eyes.
As I continue studying the tranquility of the lake, my pocket vibrates. Without looking at the screen, I take the call.
"Yes, Ms. Lockwood?"
I hear a groan on the other end of the call.
"Is everything alright? Did something happen?" My feet set into motion already without hesitation. I had some tingly feeling in my stomach before coming here. I knew I shouldn't have come this time.

"Ms. Lockwood? Hello?" God, what happened this time? Please let her be okay.
"Aria.." Ms. Lockwood muffled.
"I'm on my way."
Passing red lights, driving at a terrifying speed, I do whatever it takes to be back home. Back in her embrace. In her warmth.
Once I arrive at the front gates of the Lockwood Mansion, I step out of the car, literally running into the building and taking the stairs two at a time. On my way a maid comes down the stairs.
"Where is she?"
Startled, the maid gives me an answer. "In the masters room, ma'am."

Sweat is trickling down my forehead and gets caught in my left brow. My entire body heated once I heard her weak voice. Just be okay. Just be okay. Just be—
Swinging the door wide open, not even caring about the looks the maids give me. Why is everyone so damn calm?
A sudden pang sounds in my right ear and I see few people standing in the middle of Janiyah's room which has transformed into some kind of birthday party.
"What?" Confusingly, my eyes study every person standing in the room, whose heads are covered in.. are these cone hats?

From right to left I spot Mary, Jedidah, Lyra, Jyestha, Jocea, Cora and even Jedidiah. Did they force him into this? But the one my eyes are fixated on is Janiyah who is pouring herself a glass of whiskey at her stand of collection of alcohol. As music starts to play and everyone wishes me a happy birthday, they tell me to come downstairs where the real party is supposed to be at. Once I tell everyone I'll be down in a second, they already seem to be in a partying mood, well mostly Lyra and Mary, Jedidiah looks happy to be able to leave now and the rest just follows the duo partly because they're their girlfriends and fiancée's and partly because it's Cora trying to be more in touch with her girlfriend's family.

After everyone leaves to go downstairs, I shut the doors behind me and slowly speed up my way to hug Janiyah from behind.
"Why would you do this?" I bury my face into her back. Her scent.
Janiyah places her glass down and turns to face me. Those eyes. Those damned eyes of hers. I could watch them all day.
"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me Ms. Lockwood?" She gently places one hand on my cheek and strokes under my eye slowly.
"Force of habit."
She strokes me a while longer and I slowly close my eyes, giving into her touch. I wish I could stay like this forever. I wish I wasn't born a Ryves. Then maybe. Maybe I could take the next step in our relationship.