𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄

Her eyes 👀

Josh

Loosing someone you love is a pain beyond explanation.
Standing outside the ICU, all I wish for my mother to live. My palm started getting sweating and I can feel my heartbeats drop.
I had to look up to just so the tears won't leave my eyes. If I'll be this vulnerable, then how will I ever take care of my mom.

"Mr Josh" nurse motioned me to go inside the room.
Taking a deep breath and wiping my hands on my pants, I head inside her room.
As soon as she saw me her eyes shine with love and affection, few drops of tears showing up.

"You don't love me anymore, right?" she accused me and turned her head to other side.

I slowly went and sat beside her "Ofcourse I love you ,I was just a little busy with work and you are getting discharge anyways, after tomorrow's therapy and we will be spending all day together."
"You don't have to accuse me" I tell her and she just glared at me.
I poured ginger water in a cup for her.
"Are you sure it's tomorrow and not some day after tomorrow" she asked in a frustrated tone.
She is done with being in this hospital, after all it's frustrating being twenty four seven in a room, only around medicines and doctors.
Though there are some other women's of her age and she spent her evenings and lunch with them but I prefer her staying in her separate VIP room instead of common ward.
That is the main reason she get this lonely but afterall it's for her betterment.

"Yes mom ,here have this." I made her drink tea and sat there while holding her hand.
"I love you mom, I always do ,but it's little tough lately at college and also at company. I miss you being incharge of everything. My wonder women" I kissed her knuckles and she started giggling.
I lied it's not about work.

"I am a wonder women you see" she said tugging few imaginary strands out of her face.

"Are you attending your therepy properly?" she only asked about the thing she is concerned.
"Yes Mrs Hutton!!" I lied again, it's been almost six months.
I'm not going to therepy, I have a lot on my plate right now ,mom and her treatment and college everything is enough to make my mind sane, I definitely don't need doctor.

"What did he say about your condition", she asked looking dead in my eyes. What should I tell her ;that I'm getting more and more short tempered lately.

I can't keep myself without fuming in anger on small things, like right now I feel like I can't contain my self at all ,I want to shout and tell her that I'm fed up with these things ;don't ask me.

I won't go to tbey doctor, I'm fine leave me alone , but again I can't, atleast not to her.
I have to try my best to keep my patience.
"He told me to do meditation and some other things to calm myself down". I tell her as I got up and check some of her medication to change the topic.

"Hmm do as he say, you have to get better okay!"

"Okay mom..!!".

"I have to take care of some discharge documents ,I'll see you later" I tell her kissing her cheeks and she held my hand.

"Are you sure honey, that you are okay?" She asked , her eyes filled with concern.
But lying is the only thing I could do right now.
"Yes mom..now rest, love you".I said and left her room as soon as I could.
Lying to her is like the biggest task, like she can see through me; indeed a mom.

Whole I was on my way back home, I got a call from hospital; she got another heart attack.
It's the second one this month.
Pulling over I rest my head on staring wheel ,I'm being anxious again , feeling as if my throat has gone numb.

It's already the second time in this month, I can't I..I'll die if I loose her.
With my shivery hand I took a U turn and  speed up to the hospital.

Right now she is in OT.
Doctor's have told me that her blood pressure was over the range and she was being over anxious about something.