RIDE OR DIE | DARYL DIXON

ice breaker

"YOU HAD QUITE the fall."

Her eyes were still blurry as she was waking up. The first thing she saw was Siddiq standing over her, and as she glanced around some more, she noticed she was in one of the infirmary beds in the Kingdom.

Her hand mindlessly came up to her head where she could already feel a sore spot. 

"No concussion, no abrasions." He told her before she could begin to worry. 

She groaned, sitting up slowly and propping herself up on her elbows. "I passed out?"

That was all she could really remember; being in the boiler room under a flooding pipe for one moment, then her knees buckling and her vision turning spotty in the next.

Siddiq nodded with fidgety hands. "I drew some blood, just to test it. I thought it was low iron, or low blood sugar. Dehydration or malnutrition."

She glanced down at the small bandage at the bending point of her arm with a small speck of dried blood stained into it. "Probably all of the above."

"Yes, but that wasn't all." 

Looking back up at him, she waited patiently for him to tell her exactly what he found. It was hard for her to ignore his hesitation and the fidgeting of his hands. His nervousness was spreading to her like a common cold.

"Am I dying?" She asked quietly, rather having him tell her straight up than to play a waiting game like they were already doing.

"No, the opposite actually." He pulled up a chair and sat in it beside the bed she was in, bracing his arms on his knees. "You're pregnant."

It hit her like a sack of rocks, and had her pushing herself completely upright in the bed. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Positive. I found the hormone in the tests- hCG, or the human chorionic gonadotropin hormone that women have after conceiving."

Her eyes began to burn as tears pricked at them. Her hands drifted down to her stomach as if she was trying to feel that little life growing inside her, and she felt it for a moment; pure happiness and contentment, but then it began to hurt. Her hands fell from her stomach and came up to her face, a slight tremor in them. It hurt because having a child in this world, now, is like playing Russian Roulette; the constant fear and knowledge that their luck would run out- there's no stopping the inevitable, no matter the odds. It hurt because it seemed so selfish to want something so big when the world could break it like it was so small. And it hurt because she wouldn't have her brother around this time to see her family grow.

Siddiq shifted in his seat, his hand reaching for her. "Are you-"

The door to the room swung open, and both of their heads twisted around to see who it was. Daryl stood in the doorway, surveying them from a distance before stepping further into the room and taking a spot on the other side of the bed.

"You're awake." His hand cupped the back of her head, slightly tilting it up to look at her better. "And you're cryin'."

His eyes shot over to Siddiq with an ominous look inside of them, as if it was Siddiq's fault that she had tear stained cheeks.

"I'll give you two some privacy." Siddiq said slowly as he stood and dismissed himself, shutting the door behind him.

It was incredibly quiet in the room now, and it was almost unsettling. She knew he was waiting for her to say something- to explain why he walked in on her crying. She was waiting on herself, too. For a few minutes, it didn't feel like she could get the words to form in her throat. She would open her mouth, but nothing would come out, and they'd just sit in the silence until something finally did.