RIDE OR DIE | DARYL DIXON

the raven

SLEEP DIDN'T COME for Willow anymore.

She sat on the roof of the truck, listening to the cicadas and crickets overlapping each other. Every now and then she glanced down at Rick sitting against the front tire, the same dull eyes watching the same spot ahead of him. Something had changed within him after attacking Joe the way he did. She had seen the same sudden force of anger in him once before with Tyreese, but this felt much different. 

She couldn't help but notice changes in herself as well. The same anger Rick possessed had come to visit her, first at the prison, and then again with Joe's men. Her actions felt out of her control, as if her anger was a different personality overtaking her body. Looking in the mirror a few days ago, she saw that darkness in her own eyes. She could hardly recognize herself.

"Can't sleep?" Daryl said, sitting up on the roof of the truck. 

She shook her head.

She felt his arms drape around her shoulders, pulling her back into his chest. She froze for a moment. She's felt it many times before, but it felt foreign now. Undeserved. 

"Did you see anyone get Sienna onto that bus?" She asked him, trying her best to relax in his arms. 

She could feel his muscles tensing against her back. 

"I saw Beth carryin' her, but I lost track after that." His voice was quiet and shaky. 

She took a deep breath, trying to control her breathing, but the cries that began to build up caused her to gasp through her tears. 

"I'm sorry." His arms wrapped tighter around her. "I'm sorry."

She held his arms in place around her chest, burying her face into them. Guilt came crashing over her for spending her last day on a run instead of with her daughter. She was so wrapped up and engulfed in the darkness of finishing things with the Governor, she couldn't make it to her in time. 

"It ain't your fault." He said, as if he could read her mind. "It's not."

She shook her head, unable to form words through her jagged breathing. 

He let go of her, grabbing one of the belt loops on her pants and spinning her around to face him. "Look at me."

She looked at him, her hand covering her mouth to muffle herself. 

"You did everythin' you could, you hear me? You ain't did nothin' wrong." He used his thumb to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks. 

She took a deep breath, her shoulders falling heavily. "I could've been there to get her."

"No, come on." He brushed her hair back, cupping her face.

"I stayed back to kill him." Her voice was hoarse as she relived the events again. "I stayed back- I stayed, because I wanted him dead. I was so- so angry..."

He pulled her in again, his fingers gently tracing the lashed scars on her back through her shirt.

"I'm scared, Daryl." She fully collapsed into him. "I'm really scared."

-

"You okay?" Rick asked her as they walked.

Willow nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm okay." He said.

She looked at him. "I know."

"How?" 

"'Cause I'm okay, too."

They stepped off the tracks, kicking leaves off of the Terminus sign that had been torn down.