Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

The Letter

"We're in this together...aren't we...Sand?" Ray's eyes were filled with tears. "You promise me....Right?" Sand gently stroked the back of Ray's hand.

"Of course I promise." He pulled Ray tightly against him. "Now that you've come into my life, I won't let you go anywhere."

"That's my line Sand...." Sobbing, Ray pressed his head against Sand's shoulder.

"I know that, trouble." Gently, Sand smiled as he carefully extricated himself from the other's embrace. "Don't forget our deal Ray." The other's eyes darkened.

"How could I forget?" He swallowed, running a hand through his hair. "I get to write to you, don't I?" Tears welled up in his eyes again.

"As often as you want." It was not an easy situation for Sand either, and yet he knew it was so important for Ray and his future to take this step.

"And you will answer."

"To every single letter. Promise trouble." Sand reached out and placed his hand on the other's cheek. "I'm really going to miss being haunted by you." He began to stroke Ray's cheek with his thumb. Tears were now welling up in his eyes as well.

"You will wait for me, Sand...right?" Sand swallowed hard. He pulled Ray to him and cupped the other's face with his hands.

"Ray you are the sun and I am like a moth attracted to the light. We will always find each other again, don't you know that?" Relieved, Ray exhaled. He looked at Sand with a faint smile.

"Can I kiss you?" It felt so wrong to have to ask this, he had always had the right to kiss the other without warning. But now, at this very moment, he was so afraid of doing something wrong, again.

"I thought you'd never ask...Ray." The kiss was bittersweet and tasted of salt from the tears both of them had cried. And yet there was a small glimmer of hope, a little
confidence that Ray clung to desperately.

Sand sat on the windowsill and looked at the brightly lit street below him. Rain pattered on the canopy, which offered him shelter. The weather just fits my mood perfectly. He took a drag from his cigarette, a beer in his left hand. A month had passed since Ray was in the rehab program. No contact for the first four weeks. That stupid rule. Sand inhaled the smoke from the cigarette and sighed. The last month had been lonely, and monotonous. His 25th hour had been missing, the place next to him in bed had remained cold and untouched.

"Sand?" A hand gently rested on Sand's shoulder. "Shall we cook something and then watch a movie together?" How grateful Sand had become for these small gestures from Nick. Without him, Sand probably would have gone to the rehabilitation center long ago just to possibly catch a glimpse of Ray.

"Sounds like a good plan." Sand smiled at his roommate, it wasn't a happy smile, it was gratitude. Gratitude for all the effort Nick had put into him over the past four weeks.

"Do you think he'll write to you?" Nick's question was just that, a normal question, but it felt to Sand like a thousand knives had been plunged into his heart. He's going to write to me, isn't he? Sand bit his lower lip. He wasn't that sure about it.

"I hope so." His answer was quiet, as if he didn't want to say it out loud, and admit he had doubts. Nick looked at his friend with concern.

"You know it was your decision, right? I mean your deal, it was your idea." Of course Sand knew that, but agreements don't change feelings.

"I know…" And it annoyed him, immensely, that he had even come up with this, now in retrospect, completely stupid idea.

"I am proud of you." Five words Ray had never heard before in his life before. "I mean it." Ray hadn't doubted that. They sat on the floor in Sand's apartment, drinking mocktails. In three days, Ray would begin his therapy. Three days before not only Ray's life would change but Sand's as well.