Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

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This is a trigger warning for this chapter specifically.

There will be drug abuse related to Xanax, so if you're not comfortable with it being described, I will put a summary of the whole chapter at the end. 

The music boomed in Sand's ears, the glass in his hand felt heavy and the world around him didn't seem to exist. He felt as if he had been wrapped in absorbent cotton as if nothing and nobody could hurt him. The high had enveloped him, protected him. He barely acknowledged the people surrounding him, feeling like he was floating on a cloud above them all. He let himself be carried by the music. His dulled-out feelings were buried under alcohol, weed, and Xanax.

If it were up to Sand, he would have liked to rip his heart out. He had only gone around the corner on his motorcycle after destroying Ray's car. He had dismounted and collapsed. Sand had sat on the ground, crying and screaming softly, feeling as if someone had plunged a dagger into his chest, a dagger with prongs on the blade that was stabbed into his heart again and again, twisted to cause the most pain possible. He had sat there until only a numb, empty feeling was left in him. Sand had wiped away his tears, taking a deep breath.

"Get it together Sand." He had scolded himself, as he got up and put the helmet back on. "You're better than this," a lie. He felt like the most worthless piece of shit. Sand sat on his bike, driving aimlessly through the night. That was until he stopped in front of the Yolo Bar, his second home, of course, his heart would guide him here.

Sand had worked there long enough to know every regular, know where dealers did their business. It didn't take him long to find who he was looking for. "Sand, long time no see."

"I'm not here for small talk Dino, you got something for me?" A wry smile appeared on the dealer's face.

"Since when..."

"Cut the bullshit, so you or do you not?" Sand rolled his eyes, reaching into his back pocket. With a handshake, they exchanged money and goods.

"Hope you feel better soon buddy." I'm not your buddy, Sand thought to himself but nodded friendly in the other's direction.

In the toilet stall, Sand looked at the small plastic bag in his hand, it contained 5 white pills. XANAX was stamped on them. He downed one of them and put the others in the inside pocket of his leather jacket. He closed his eyes, waiting for the pills to work their magic. A knock on the door jolted Sand out of his slumber. The pills hadn't kicked in yet when he pulled himself together and opened the door of the toilet cubicle.

"You've been in there for ten minutes, you're blocking." an angry voice fired at him. Without looking up, Sand squeezed past the angry individual and made his way to the bar.

"Oh Sand, are you here alone?" Yo greeted him. He nodded, not wanting to talk, just wanting to shut down. "The usual?" Another nod. The alcohol would enhance the effects of the pills, and Sand knew that. His ex and he had taken pills together many times, it had been almost 6 years since his last Xanax trip, but he would never forget the feeling of the onset of the high. And after less than 20 minutes, he felt the familiar feeling rise inside him, the warmth spreading through his body like a wave of good feelings.

The bass of the music made his body vibrate, it felt like he could feel every note of the song in the fibers of his body. He didn't mind stumbling through the crowd of revelers, not even realizing how far from reality he was. Sand was feeling like the king of the world, and no one could hurt him up here, in his castle above the sky. The music seemed to cast a spell over him. Holding a glass filled with alcohol in his right hand, he moved to the sounds coming from the loudspeakers. The music that enveloped him completely seemed to bring him even farther from the real world.