Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

Sand

Ray held a glass in his hand, the brown liquid in it seeming to mock him. He had been staring at the drink for hours, bringing it to his mouth, only to put it back in front of him without taking a sip. He felt empty, petrified. It had been two days since he had last seen Sand, two endlessly long days in which he had barely left his bed. Between nervous breakdowns and sleep, he had gone out for a smoke and had tried to fight the inner urge to reach for the bottle. But now he sat here, the whiskey in front of him, not knowing how much longer he could fight the urge.

He had excluded everyone. Mew and Black had tried everything, but he had pushed them away. He didn't want to have to explain himself.

Black had driven him to the hostel that night, had called a car service to have Ray's car picked up. Ray had made it clear to him that he didn't want to see him for the time being. He couldn't stand Black around, it was his fault Sand had left Ray.

"Ray, do you really want this?" He hadn't noticed Mew come into his room, hadn't noticed his best friend join him at the table. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Concern resonated in Mew's voice. Ray looked up, his eyelids were heavy, even though he had slept a lot, he was still tired, so incredibly tired. His eyes were burning from crying so much, they were swollen, his head was pounding, he was burned out completely. "You look terrible my friend." Mew pushed the glass of whiskey away from Ray's hand. "Let's get you into the shower first and then we'll see what happens, shall we?"

Ray didn't protest when Mew took him by the arm and pulled him into the bathroom. He didn't protest either when Mew started to undress him or when Mew put him in the shower. While Ray was in the shower, Mew tidied his room, made up the bed, and picked out some fresh clothes for Ray to wear.

The warm water felt good on Ray's skin. It washed away all the memories of the last few days. The blood from his hands, from the smashed windows of his car, the dirt of the asphalt from the parking lot in front of Sands Apartment. It cleaned the wounds he'd sustained when he'd collapsed next to his car in Black's arms, but his heart couldn't mend it. Hotter and hotter Ray turned on the water, he wanted to feel something, even if it was just the pain of the boiling water on his skin. He wanted to feel, he didn't care what it was, he just wanted to feel.

"Ray damn it, do you want to boil yourself alive?" Mew had stormed into the bathroom and turned off the water. He fetched a towel and wrapped his friend in it, holding him while Ray began to cry quietly. And a fear grew in Mew that he hadn't felt for a long time. The fear of losing his friend.

Ray lived in a fog, a thick impenetrable fog of fear, depression, and self-hatred. Every now and then Mew could get through to him, but mostly Ray sat in his room, staring at the wall and listening to the same songs over and over again. It was as if he was trapped inside himself. He wasn't living, he just existed, days passed, nights came and went, and he had lost all sense of time.

"I don't know if he wants to see you." Mew crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I need to talk to him." Black tussled his hair frantically.

"But nothing that could upset him, right?" Mew scrutinized Black closely. "Black? Why do you need to talk to him so badly?" Black paused for a moment and bit his lips, wondering if he should tell Mew the truth.

"It's about Sand." A puzzled expression spread across Mew's face.

"What do you have to do with sand?"

"Longtae was trying to reach Ray, but he wasn't answering his phone, so he called me and asked me to give Ray a message." Black explained.

"And what exactly would that be? I'm absolutely sure we shouldn't be talking to him about Sand." Mew leaned against the counter of the reception.