Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

Emergency Staff

"What are you doing here?" Sand repeated again. Damn this is embarrassing and I'm not even drunk. "Ray..." Sand put the laundry basket down and crossed his arms. Ray opened the car door and got out of the car. "Ray, why are you here?" Sand's voice was soft, almost concerned. "You haven't been drinking, have you?" Ray shook his head. "Then why are you here?"

"I...don't know. I was just here...and..." Ray stammered.

"It's okay Ray, it's okay." Sand put a hand on Ray's shoulder. "Do you want to come inside my apartment? Summer's already asleep, but my offer stands. You're welcome to sleep on the couch."

"I don't want to put you in any trouble. It's so stupid of me to come here anyway. I don't know what I was thinking." Ray opened his car door, but Sand held him by the arm.

"Please stay. You're not bothering me and I can see something's bothering you, I won't let you drive home like this." Sand smiled at Ray. "Come upstairs, you can sleep on the couch. Please? Ray?" Ray swallowed hard, the whole thing had gotten pretty out of hand and this time he definitely couldn't say no.

"Okay. Sounds like a plan." He mumbled and locked his car.

"Do you need anything else?" Sand had pulled out the couch and arranged the blanket and pillow for Ray. He had just brought him a fresh T-shirt and a towel for the next day. Ray gratefully accepted the items and had to smile involuntarily when his eyes fell on the T-shirt.

"Poor boy? You still have that shirt?" Ray looked at Sand.

"It looks good on you. Rich Boy." Sand returned with a grin. Ray raised an eyebrow.

"Does it?"

"You should be asleep."

"And you're really okay with that? And what about Summer?" Ray hugged the T-shirt to him as if Sand would take it away at any moment.

"Don't worry, she'll understand."

"Thanks. I just don't want to be a bother." Sand sat down next to Ray on the couch.

"Cut it out. When have I ever turned you down?" Sand put a hand on Ray's shoulder. "I promised you I'd be there for you and I don't intend to break that promise again, you're always welcome here, do you understand?" Ray gave Sand a tired smile.

"Thank you." Sand thought about it for a moment, wondering if he should ask the question that had been burning on his mind for a few hours.

"What's going on between you and Black?" The question had slipped out. Ray raised an eyebrow, his heart beating faster than before. Could he hear a slight undertone of jealousy in Sand's voice?

"We're good friends, why do you ask?"

"He seems good to you. I'm just saying." Sand muttered.

"You're right. He is good for me. I really appreciate him and everything he's done for me." Ray replied.

"That's good. I'm glad you got him." Sand nibbled at the nail beds of his fingers.  An uncomfortable silence spread between the two of them.

"You should go and see your girlfriend, hope she's okay. She seemed pretty drunk." Ray broke the silence.

"Uhm...yeah I really should go check on her." Sand stood up. "If you need anything you can just text me. I've got my phone on speaker so you don't have to knock on my...our door." Sand smiled at Ray.

"Do you still have your old number?" Sand nodded.

"Good, sleep well then Sand." Ray gave the other a slight smile.

"You too Ray."

Silence. An uncomfortable silence. Ray stared at the ceiling. What was I thinking? How stupid am I really? He had his arms folded under his head. I guess Sand is still my emergency staff. Images came to his mind, of a time when he could still talk to Sand without thinking about it. A time when he wasn't nervous about being in the same room as the other. No, their relationship had never started with a secret crush, not even as acquaintances. They had just sort of slipped into it, started sleeping together and it had all come naturally, with a lot of stress and tears, but they had worked it out eventually. But now everything was different. Ray got this nervous feeling when he spoke to Sand, his heart beat faster and he could hardly hold a clear thought. It was as if his body and his thoughts were no longer his own but controlled by Sand.

What Ray didn't know was that just one room away, Sand was also lying awake in his bed. Summer had snuggled up in his arms and was sleeping peacefully. But sleep was out of the question for Sand. Thousands of thoughts kept his mind busy. He also thought about the past, about how it had all started three years ago. How he had taken Ray to his old apartment for the first time. He had never told Ray that he had noticed him before, long before they had crossed paths for the first time in the  restroom of the Yolo bar. He had never told Ray how he saved him as well. And he regretted it. He regretted that he had never told Ray all this, even though he knew it would have helped the other understand just how much Sand cared about him. And still did, even after 3 years, even after not being in contact for over 1 year. He still cared the same. I want this to work out. I want us to be friends Ray. I really want to try.