Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

Diary

Summer's Diary

1st Day

I broke up with him.
Hurts like hell, as if someone drilled a hole in my heart just to feed it with shards of glass.
But I knew this would happen sooner or later. He loves Ray, he loves him so much, even a blind person could sense his love for Ray.
Longate is the sweetest. He helped me with my belongings and let's me stay at his apartment until I find my own.
He's very caring, I'm glad Ray introduced us to each other, I wouldn't know what to do without him right now.

Day 2

I talked to Sand, made sure he realized that I won't be coming back. I am not sure if he fully grasped what I was trying to say, but he accepted my decision. He wished me luck, admitted to his feelings for Ray. It fucking hurts, it hurts so much and yet I can't be angry. They're made for each other and I hope they'll get back together and never ever break up again.

Day 11

Longtae really is an angel. I've been living for almost 2 weeks with him now, and slowly but surely we found a routine. He's so caring, always finds the right words for me. He's been such a great help. We talk a lot, about his job, his view on the world, his dreams. We talk about my passion for music and art, how I've always wanted to have my own record store, just like the one Sand works at. 
Thinking about Sand, I rarely see him, or Ray for the matter.

Day 17
Longtae surprised me with a wonderful breakfast. He said and I quote “You deserve it after everything you've been through.” He even got me flowers. I'm so lucky to have him. I'm so glad he's there for me.
And honestly he's a very handsome and sweet guy, I should really call myself lucky.
But I can't…I don't even know why I am so hung up on Sand. I knew it from the start, I fell in love with a phantom, a ghost. And yet even though i know it still hurts do much.

Day 24

I'm starting to get concerned about Sand and Ray. They behave as if they're on drugs, I'm serious. Ray’s mood is switching like crazy, he can be angry at one moment and then the other he's the happiest person on this planet. Tae is concerned as well. We're talking often about them, and I'm sure that he is just as concerned as I am. And of course the other's as well, Nick asked me just a few days ago if I heard anything from either of tjem, if Sand tried to reach out and reconcile. And then yesterday they were in Yolo with us, as if nothing was happening. But I can read the gazes on their faces.
I don't know which game they're playing, i just hope they don't burn themselves.

Day 30

You know what hurts? It's not the break up, not the fact I'm  not with him anymore. I broke up with him, so that him and Ray are able to work it out together. And now? I'm pretty sure Ray has something going on with Black, I don't know what it is but they're definitely fucking. And Sand? There is not one single girl or dude he doesn't look after, checks them up tries to flirt with.
I feel so dumb right now and it hurts that they're wasting the chance I gave them.