Fragments Of Love Series Part 1 : Toxic Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

Full Circle

A knock at the door jolted Nick out of his daydreams. Don't bother me, it's late. He got up and made his way to the door.

"Nick are you expecting someone?" Boston stuck his head out of the kitchen.

"No. You?" Boston shook his head. He slung the dish towel over his shoulder and followed his boyfriend to the door. There was another knock.

"Damn it I'm already here. What the hell are you doing here at..." In mid-sentence, Nick faltered as he realized who was standing there in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Sand home?" Boston crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't think that's any of your business. Ray."

"Thanks for the nice welcome Ton, has America gone to your head or what?" Ray raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me where I can find sand."

"Let's see, you've been off the grid for a year. Haven't contacted any of us. Not Sand, and not to me. I don't know if you and Mew are still in touch. But do you seriously think you can just show up here and expect us to tell you where he is?" Boston reached for the door handle. "I think it's better you go now."

"I know...I know I didn't check in. But Sand...he couldn't even answer me then if I was still important to him." Ray's voice reflected despair.

"I think you got your answer then. He's happy you know. Don't ruin this for him." With those words, Nick closed the door and left Ray standing in front of it.

He is happy? Ray felt like his heart was going to burst. He pulled his phone out of the pant pocket and dialed Black's number.

"Black? You got a minute?"

"It's pretty late, sunny boy? What's up?" Black sounded sleepy.

"I'll tell you then. Come to the Yolo Bar."

"Ray...I don't think that's a good..."

"I don't need your lectures, believe me I'm not going there to drink." Ray had arrived at his car in the meantime. There he pushed his suitcase aside and looked at the boxes in his back seat. "I'll meet you there." With those words, he hung up. Let's see if anyone there even knows me anymore.

It was a strange feeling to see the red neon banner. After all, two years had passed since he had last been here. Ray lit a cigarette and greedily inhaled the toxic smoke.

"Did you miss me so much that you wanted to see me right back?" Laughing, Black put an arm around Ray's shoulders.

"Asshole. I just don't feel like going in there alone."

"Didn't have any success with him at home?" Black huffed, after also lighting a cigarette. Ray shook his head.

"That's why we're here."

"You do realize that two years is a hell of a long time, don't you?" Black took a drag from his cigarette.

"Yes...and I'm also aware that I was the one who closed the door on our relationship." Ray threw his cigarette on the ground. "I just want to know if he's okay. Nick and Boston said he's happy. If that's true, I'm glad."

"And what if he's found a new love?" Black voiced the question Ray was most afraid of.

"I don't know. It's going to hurt. But I also can't expect him to pause his whole life to wait." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Congratulations, it's obvious you're out of therapy." Laughing, Black flicked his cigarette away and pushed himself off the wall against which he was leaning.

"Let's go then let's see how Lover boy is doing."

"Sorry guys, my bracelet is red, you know what that means." Sand pulled the guitar strap off his shoulders and placed the instrument in its holder. Yo pressed a cold beer into his hand as he walked off the stage.

"Where's Summer tonight?" Yo turned to Sand.

"She's meeting up with her friends. And is probably planning to spend the night there, too."

"Tell her I miss her, okay?"

"I'll tell her." Sand took another sip of the beer and then headed for the bathroom.

"Watch where you're going will you?" Sand almost spilled his drink when the guy coming out of one of the stalls bumped into him.

"You watch it Asshole." It was like the world suddenly stopped. Sand's heart started beating like crazy. As if in slow motion, his eyes wandered from the floor to the person in front of him. It was as if he saw a ghost. His hair was longer, he had a different look in his eyes, his clothes - he was wearing an old band shirt, jeans and a black jacket. Sand opened his mouth, wanted to say something, but no words passed his lips.

"Sand." Ray was the first of them to say anything. Hearing his name out of each other's mouths after so long felt surreal.

"You're back." Obviously he is, Sand.

"I'm back." Ray's gaze traveled over Sand's face, to his wrist, where the red bracelet was visible. "You have a boyfriend? Congratulations." Hearts break quietly. And the silence that fell over the two of them was uncomfortable and chilling.

"A girlfriend...Summer." Stammered Sand.

"I hope she's good to you."

"She is…" The atmosphere between them grew more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

"Good, that's good." Ray swallowed hard. He had known that it might be that Sand had found someone. But he hadn't been prepared for it.

"Why are you here?" Sand didn't want to make it sound like an accusation, but some concern resonated in his question.

"I got laid off today and..."

"Tell me Ray did you fall in the toilet?" The door had swung open and Black now stood in the room. Only then did he realized who Ray was talking to. "Hello Sand, long time no see."

"Black." Sand nodded at the other. "You should go back to your friend. Seems like he misses you." Sand smiled at Ray. A forced smile.

"I'll be right there Black, just give me a minute okay?"

"Sure, talk to your Lover Boy." Black grinned at them before leaving the room.

"Lover Boy?" Sand raised an eyebrow.

"Forget it. Black's talking trash, as usual." Ray ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm glad you seem to be doing well Ray."

"I'm fine. Really good." Until just now. Ray forced a smile onto his face.

"I'm glad to hear that. I've got to get back on stage. See you around?" Please say yes.

"I think so. I'll stay a little longer. After all, I can't pass up hearing you sing for the first time in two years, can I?" Ray's voice trembled, he fought against his emotions, against everything that had built up inside him.

"Thanks. I'll see you from the stage then." Once again Sand smiled at the other.

Ray took a moment to collect himself before he too left the bathroom with the green tiles.

We came full circle Sand. From strangers to friends to lovers to boyfriend to strangers again. Can we start the circle all over? Can we at least be friends again? He sat next to Black, a non-alcoholic beer in his hand, his gaze fixed on Sand. I see you still have that guitar I bought you. I'm glad you're still using it.

Sand's gaze wandered over the crowd of people in the bar. He knew exactly who he was looking for. And when their eyes crossed, there was this feeling like time had stopped, like it was just the two of them in the room. It was as if not two years had passed since they had last seen each other. And he knew how wrong it was to feel that way, how unfair it was to Summer and Ray, but there was nothing he could do about it. I am in so much trouble.