Kiri x Reader

NINETEEN

He reached up and touched my face, and when his finger touched my scars, I felt all the memories rising back up, all the pain, so I turned my head so he was no longer touching it.

"What?" He propped himself up on his elbows.

"What?" I pretended to play innocent, but he saw right through it.

"Why don't you want me touching your scars?" I looked away from him, shame clouding my vision as tears welled in my eyes. "Hey, hey. Please don't cry. If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to." I found myself staring back into his loving eyes. He deserved to know.

"When I was little, I was taken from my home and put into a cage with hundreds of other people like me. We were taken to the building that was my home for the next five years. We all either had a fire or ice power and a dragon form. The scientists evaluated us, saying we were special, and therefore likely not human. Then we here deemed monsters and dangers to society, so we were tortured and killed. I have only one weakness, and I know that because they tried everything under the sun except for sexual assault. Since I was the strongest and most violent, I was treated the worst, and I received this-" I pointed at my face,"-to show that I was a piece of property. I can remember the pain. It's just that when you or anyone else touches it or brings it up, I feel the pain again. I relive those horrible five years. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before," I looked at him, waiting for his reaction. His face went from blank to furious to sympathetic.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. What they did was wrong. You didn't deserve any of that. But you know I would never, ever hurt you." He smiled softly and touched my other cheek instead.

"Is that where all these scars on your stomach came from?" He asked gently, and I nodded.

"I'm not as self conscious about them because they healed pretty well and don't look as horrible as my face does."

He grabbed my face in his hands, ignoring the way I flinched when he touched my scars. "Repeat after me. I am beautiful."

"I-I... I can't say that cause I don't believe it."

"Well, I'll sit here all night until you do."

I sighed. "I... I'm not beautiful. I'm ugly and stupid and-" He cut me off with a gentle kiss. It wasn't sizzling like our other ones, but it still lit me up.

"No, you're not."

"Do you have proof?"

"I'm looking at her right now."

I frowned back at him. "It's just... that's how I was brought up, so that's my mentality. I don't think even you could change it."

"Well, I'm not giving up. I'm not going to let my beautiful, smart, amazing girlfriend walk around with a shitty self perspective, now am I?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Especially when that shitty self perspective isn't true."

"You really think I'm pretty?"

"No. I don't."

I stared at him with a blank expression, trying not to cry. He didn't think I was pretty. He thought I was ugly. "What?" The words left my lips sounding so hurt and I saw the change of expression in his face.

"Pretty is an understatement when we're talking about you. Those other girls - Mina, Momo, Ochaco - they're pretty. But not you. I think you are the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world," he leaned over and kissed me again. "I think you are the most beautiful, caring, talented, smart, strong girl I've ever met, and don't you forget it."

I rubbed my eyes. I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't going to cry. But when I looked at him, smiling up at me with those tender, caring eyes of his, knowing he loves me for me, I can't help but tear up again. He brushed a stray tear that slid down my cheek. Then he rolled off me and laid next to me. I felt the heat leave my body and curled up next to him, wrapping my wings around us both.

"Can you say it now?" He whispered.

"I-I... am...beautiful," the words came out so soft that even I hardly heard them.

"Hm? Did you say something?" His eyebrows quirked, and I knew he'd heard me.

"I said that I.. I am beautiful."

"Now, I want you to say it with confidence." And I did.

"See? How hard was that?"

"Terribly hard," I joked.

"Hey, what time is it?" He asked me, and I reached for my phone. Oh gosh. It was 8:49. Almost curfew.

"8:49." Reluctantly, he pushed off me and got up. 

"I don't want to get in trouble, so I'm going to head out." He placed a soft kiss on my head before tucking me under the covers of her bed. "Good night, love," He whispered as he left, quietly shutting the door and making sure it was locked. The moment he was gone, I smiled. He was so sweet. I thought back to our conversation. Did he really think I was those things he said? My insecurities rose within me, threatening to overwhelm me, but I pushed them back. Just like I always did. He was right. I was beautiful... no I wasn't. Who am I kidding? I was nowhere near as pretty as the other girls. The sudden urge to wash my hands overtook me, so I ran to the bathroom and tried to scrub them clean until they were red and raw. Still, even though my hands were probably over sterilized now, I couldn't get the feeling I had someone else's blood all over my hands. My body. Everywhere. I hadn't told him the worst part yet. I wasn't ready to let him know I was a murderer. I clutched my head and sunk to my knees. Voices cam back to taunt me, saying that I was a killing machine and that was all I'd ever be.

'No. No. No. NO!' I mentally screamed. Vivid images flashed through my mind. Images of dead bodies, brutally mutilated, blood everywhere. I'd done that. And I'd felt nothing wrong about it. 

-FLASHBACK-

I woke up in my cage, my empty stomach clenching up painfully. I held in a groan as a guard walked past, eyeing all the prisoners with disgust. I could hear other people crying, breathing shallowly, retching. This place smelled of death. But I was used to it by now. When the guard circled back, he opened the door to my cage and I stepped out.

"Time for torture." His breath smelled like garlic. Ew. We walked down the hall for a little bit when he decided to say, "walk faster, brat." He followed the comment up with some nasty names that I wouldn't repeat, so I turned and tore his throat out. After draining him, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and proceeded to do the same thing to every guard I saw. Everyone I saw died. It didn't matter who they were. I blindly killed anything that moved, from the bugs to the humans to even fellow dragon shifters like me. I got punished for that. Really bad.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

My mind came back to reality with a start. My hands were bleeding, and I realized I had clawed at them during that memory. I wrapped them up in a paper towel and turned the lights off and headed to bed.

Sleep didn't come to me though. I tossed and turned, memories from my past haunting me. Finally, I got up again and decided I needed a breath of fresh air. I quietly made my way to the balcony, then jumped. I opened my wings and soared into the sky feeling the wind on my face and in my hair. I sighed. Why couldn't I just be a normal person? Why did they have to come along and ruin it? Now I couldn't act normally, no matter how hard I tried. I circled around UA a few more times before landing back on the balcony. I walked back to my room, feeling like a tiny bit of the tension had eased from my shoulders.

'Ugh, there's no way I'm going to fall asleep,' I mentally groaned as I stared up at where the ceiling would've been. Darkness greeted me. I closed my eyes and decided to at least try to rest.