To See You Again (Chuuya Nakahara x Reader x Dazai Osamu)

Chapter Eleven

"Why do you hate Dazai so much?" Y/n asked, her voice cutting through the silence of Chuuya's office.

She had already finished her work for the day but had elected to stay by his side, nose buried in a book. The question had come suddenly and Chuuya put his pen down with a sigh, leaning back in his chair as he turned to face her.

"What has you thinking about him?"

Y/n shrugged, dog earring the page she was on and placing her book down on her desk.

"Just thinking."

Chuuya sighed again.

"You don't have to tell me." she rolled her eyes.

Time spent had done the job it always did and Chuuya had become even closer with the girl across the room with him. Her apathy was shrinking from their interactions and although she was still rather cold towards him, there seemed to be some sort of understanding between them. Chuuya was grateful for it. He had spent a lot of time alone since Dazai had left the Mafia.

"I know, but we agreed to not keep secrets and you seem to keep running into him."

"Its nothing new."

"I know."

The room fell quiet once more as he thought. What harm could his story do?

"Heres the deal." Chuuya said at last, his gaze harsh, "I tell you something, you gotta tell me something."

"I thought conversations weren't just about an exchange of information." she teased and he sarcastically smiled.

"Yeah well, this is personal."

"Even footing. I get it." Y/n leaned forward in her chair, "You've got yourself a deal."

"I already told you he's the one who brought me into the Mafia?"

Y/n nodded in affirmation.

"Yeah well, thats not one hundred percent true. I was the leader of a small gang called the Sheep at the time. Dazai was on a mission to find some chaos god, not that he told me-"

"Aharabaki." Y/n cut in.

Their eyes met. Chuuya did not expect her to know, but the way she said the name told him everything he needed to know.

"Aharabaki." he confirmed with a sharp nod before continuing, "Anyways, long story short, he nearly got me killed by my old gang and strong armed me into revealing the god himself. After that, I had no where else to go and got pulled into this whole mess. The boss made me Dazai's subordinate, and the rest is history."

"A history you will soon be revealing." Y/n added hungrily.

"Yes." he assented, "Your turn."

Leaning back in her chair, Y/n hummed in thought. Despite the experience she showed in combat, her life hadn't really been all that interesting in her opinion. Or full for that matter.

"The first person I ever killed was the leader of a rival gang." she started, playing off the themes from Chuuya's story, "I was five, maybe six at the time. My dad had him roughed up first of course, I was much too small for a task like that at the time. Apparently this gang had been garnering strength and support from the local government. Dad didn't love that, so he snagged their boss. They were holding him in the torture chambers down there... I'd never been down there before that day."

Falling silent for a moment, Chuuya noted how Y/n refused to meet his eyes as she told the story. It betrayed her in a way her voice was too well trained to. He knew this was a well sheltered memory she was sharing.

"I don't remember much about it to be honest. He was chained to the wall and my dad gave me a knife. He tapped the man's chest right above his heart, showing me where to aim." almost without her realizing it, Y/n tapped her own chest in the very same place as she spoke, "He made some remark or another about the man being so weak as to find death at the hands of a small girl and then, I stabbed him. There wasn't as much blood as I thought there would be."

Brow furrowed and story at its end, her eyes finally met his.

"Your turn."

"I'm starting to regret this little game."

"Why? Don't you just love stories about a six year old killing a man?" Y/n teased and Chuuya laughed slightly.

"Every time you finish, I have to think of something new."

"Those are the rules, which you made by the way so stop complaining and start telling."

"We used to be close actually." a small, sad smile flashed briefly across Chuuya's face, "Well, as close as two people with opposing personalities could be. We fought a lot, but we were a good team. Best the Mafia ever had according to the Boss. One day, he went on a mission. I don't know what it was about but he was doing it alone. Something really terrible must have happened because Dazai never came back to the Mafia again after that. He never said goodbye either. One day he was here and the next, he was just gone. Not even a text. I thought he was dead honestly. I thought some bastard had finally managed to kill him, or maybe he'd finally just killed himself after so many years of trying. Then two years later, we got news that he had joined the Armed Detective Agency. When I saw him again, he acted like nothing had happened, like he hadn't just decided to abandon us all. It was like he thought himself to be blameless."

"That sounds like something he'd do." Y/n agreed, "A dick move for a dick guy."

Chuuya laughed.

"He does suck, doesn't he."

"He's the reason I tried growing something last week." Y/n admitted and Chuuya looked over at her trepidatiously.

A brief staring contest and she relented.

"Alright, but this counts as my turn. I went for a walk and I was smoking by the pier. The whole time I could tell he was following me but I was hoping he would just leave me alone and I wouldn't have to, ya know, deal with it? Of course he didn't. He keeps on trying to get me to join the Agency with him, its so annoying."

"You're not gonna take him up on that offer, are you?"

Y/n analyzed him for a second, taking his posture, his tone, his expression, his everything into account before she answered the question.

"No. I am not."

Chuuya was relieved to hear the answer, chalking the whole situation up to the fact that she was his friend and he didn't want to lose another one of those. Nothing else.

"Anyways, he kept saying shit like how he couldn't figure out if I was demonic or holy? And then he asked if I had ever tried growing anything and left. I had never even thought to try before and I couldn't get the idea of it out of my head so I stopped on the way back here and did it. It was... exhilarating, giving life. It almost felt as good as taking it away."

"Will you show me?"

"I haven't tried since."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen, or that it wont work."

He had read between the lines of her simple response to his question and she seemed taken aback at that.

"You're getting better." she said after a moment.

"I have a good teacher."