To See You Again (Chuuya Nakahara x Reader x Dazai Osamu)

Chapter Thirty

It was the first time Yosano had ever used her ability on Y/n. It was also the first time she had ever truly lost a fight. At least, the first time in recent memory.

Y/n was ashamed and felt like everyone could tell. It radiated off her in waves.

"Want to go say hi?" Dazai asked, turning to her.

They were sitting at a table together, Y/n's head resting on her hands. She looked over at him stoically.

"To whom?"

"Koyo." Dazai hummed, getting to his feet with his hands in his pockets, "I know you said you were close."

Y/n shook her head hesitantly and Dazai shrugged.

"Okay. It was just an offer."

She sighed, watching him as he left before folding her arms on the table and laying her head down upon them. It was all so complicated. So much had happened, so much had changed. She had changed.

Koyo had always been the one to give her advice growing up. When she didn't know how to make Mori pleased, when she didn't want to kill anymore, Koyo had guided her with a firm hand in the direction she had needed to go in to ensure her survival. Year after year, Koyo had warned her about the light, about how impossible and foolish it was to try and leave, or even to want to leave. She was the reason Y/n was so scared at the idea of not being alone.

Then again, in some strange way, she was one of the only people Y/n felt could truly be trusted. She was easy to predict and god, with everything that had been happening with Chuuya and Dazai lately, she could use some good, honest, advice.

Her head felt as though it were in a constant spin. Chuuya had told her he loved her and, by what she could guess, Dazai might have some feelings for her as well. There was always a chance that he didn't, that it was all a ruse to get on Chuuya's nerves. The man did flirt with practically anyone he came across but, when Dazai had found out about that, his reaction had been odd.

He had turned away from her, gone silent. The anger, the old sickness they both knew so well risen within him. He had brushed it off, pretended nothing was the matter and that he had just forgotten something he had needed to do. Y/n could tell he was lying when he said it. It only furthered her confusion.

What did love even mean? Was it just trust and reliance? The girls in all the stories talked about blushing, feeling butterflies at the thought of their heart's care but Y/n didn't feel any butterflies when she thought of either of them. She just felt sick.

"Hey, Y/n. Are you okay?"

She raised her head to see Atsushi staring at her, his brow furrowed. He hadn't known the woman for long, but he could tell something was bothering her, eating away at her soul She sighed, pushing her chair back and pulling herself to her feet.

"Fine. I just think I should take Dazai up on his offer."

"To speak to the woman from the Mafia?"

Y/n nodded.

"I'll come with." Atsushi got to his feet as well.

"You sure? Big bad Mafia executive. She wants your blood, Tiger."

"Yeah." Atsushi nodded, "I'm sure."

With raised eyebrows, Y/n turned and left the room, Atsushi trailing after her. They entered Yosano's office quietly. Koyo, who was laying in bed, turned to them at the noise.

Y/n stopped in the doorway under the woman's analytic glare. Atsushi continued on, coming to a stop at her bedside beside Dazai who had dragged a chair over.