anger. thats all my heart could feel. no sadness, no heartbreak. just anger. it's crazy how people can really sit there and tell you you changed their life and tell you they love you and just be lying the whole time. two months ago, i blocked oakley on everything. after the grammy's night i just couldn't deal with all of the lies anymore. i just wanted nothing to do with him, so me and bri have been staying in la away from the spotlight. i mean its la so you're always really in the spotlight but it felt good being away from oakley. in a way.. i felt like myself again. but the days where i miss him it feels like i can't breathe. he was my best friend. my safe place. sometimes i really can't deal.
in these past two months, me and justin bieber have been in the studio and hanging out in his la home. he's really been a good distraction and friend throughout all of this. i feel close to him and his advice means the whole world to me. he's been dealing with this fame shit longer than i have.
recently, i dropped a new single and music video called ' nights like this ' ft ty dolla sign. it was about oakley. a few days later he dropped a video and song called ' let go '.
i see him everywhere. he's gotten bigger in the u.s so he comes out here a lot. i havent been to any industry parties so thankfully i haven't run into him but apparently he has a new girlfriend too. madeline argy. slim petite girl. looks nothing like me. he moves on real quick so kenza was right.
" tori, lets go to dinner. " justin interrupted me while we were in the middle of our studio session. my stomach grumbled in response ready to eat something.
" where to? " i asked him.
" im craving pasta, you wanna go to Joe's? " he offered which made my stomach grumble and him chuckle.
" pasta it is. " he confirmed. we both got up and headed out the studio and into justin's car where there were about a dozen paparazzi trying to snap pictures of us.
-
" tori what do you think about central cee's new girlfriend?! "
" does the betrayal from central cee still get to you? "
" are you guys dating? "
" justin have you replaced selena already? "
" are you pregn- "
-
i slammed the door shut and pulled my seatbelt on as justin got inside and started the car. " you know two months ago i wouldn't have minded the celebrity thing much but the nerve of these assholes to ask if im fucking pregnant by you! and still to ask about this dumb dude too like we all saw the pictures that publicly humiliated me after i got grammy! "
" i know, tori. i watched selena deal with the pregnancy shit. they ask about if i use drugs. they ask about my old relationship. they're vultures. " he explained while grabbing my hand, " its okay, i've got you tho. there was nobody to protect me. "
i smiled sadly at him and kissed his cheek. he pulled out of the densely populated area full of paparazzi and headed to malibu to eat at joe's.
when we got there we ordered and had our food arrive fairly quickly. joe's had a nice view of the water which felt very relaxing and calming in the midst of heartbreak. you feel at one with the water. your body starts swaying back and forth like the waves. it's nice to watch. the waitress arrived with our food and justin asked her if she could take a picture of us to which she agreed.