BatPhantom

Breaking in and cracking skulls

Deadpool sat a western pink cafe littered with cats. They're on the tables, seats, floors, everywhere.
He sipped his pumpkin spice moca latte, as steam rose up.

Danny meanwhile was running around Gotham exhausted and feeling slightly like he wanted to give up. He had been searching endlessly for Deadpool but for some reason he couldn't find him anywhere.

Distracted by an unnecessarily pink building Danny managed to almost get hit by a car causing several cars to honk at him. He also learned a new insult.

Whatever a damn jaywalker was.

Deadpool hummed to himself as classic musical played. He didn't even flinch at the sound of yelling from outside. Very elegantly Deadpool stood up and went up to the old lady sitting behind the counter.

"Oh I'm so glad I have a regular customer, you know I give regulars discounts." She said with a grandmotherly smile.

Deadpool took her hand.

"Of course, I'm sure you'll remember me when your finally out in that nursing home. I promise I'll visit- oh wait. I don't think I was supposed to tell you that."

He slapped a folded wad of cash on the counter before walking out.

"Bless that old lady with dementia, most people would feel morally obligated to not take advantage of an old lady, but who am I to turn down a free discount"

"HEY!"

Deadpool turned to see the kid from the previous day.

"I need your help!" Danny insisted.

"Look kid, I'm not good at changing diapers, ask your mommy to do that. I didn't dodge child support just to take care of another kid" Deadpool said.

Danny gave him a strange look, then chose to ignore that comment altogether.

"You remember that guy you knocked out yesterday"

Deadpool put his hand on his chin.

"Mmm...no"

Sighing Danny gave Deadpool a once over before deciding to take a different approach

"Hey Deadpool, how about we go smash some stuff at a very top secret government facility" Danny suggested.

Deadpool crouched.

"Danny, you can't take out your anger on other people, then you would be a bully."

Danny raised an eyebrow. Several minutes later they were standing in front of two knocked out guards.

"Thank God the government is run by aliens, oh crap I can't say that anymore its racist. Superman might kick my ass."

"So you remember the plan right?" Danny clarified.

Deadpool nodded.

"Bang, bang, explodey, grey haired hobos cousin is saved."

Danny looked at him with a tilted head.

"Don't try this at home kids" Deadpool said before bombing his way into to the facility.

Danny was glad he brought Deadpool but also very uncomfortable. Still he didn't think anyone has ever referred to Vlad as a "hobos cousin" before.

By the end of the day Danny would need a whole book to store all his new insults.

Vlad clenched his teeth as he pulled on the chains pointlessly.

How could he be caught in such a compromising position. It was humiliating and by Jack and Maddie no less.