Sweet Rivalry : From Bitter Enemies To Sweet Lovers (BXB)

19- Bleeding heart

Relationship? What's that? I gave it a thought, We imagine walking hand in hand with the love of our life, sharing sweet kisses, and showering each other with love and presents. But reality doesn't always match up to those fairy tales. Books, movies, and novels can't give us a one-size-fits-all answer.

It's like searching for answers in a sea of uncertainty. We know deep down that no relationship is perfect, but sometimes it feels like we're drowning in a pool of our own blood, waving that white flag that's slowly turning red. It's a sign.

A sign to escape from that nightmare.

.......

We had our first argument,

Tim: I don't like when you hangout with those guys.

Me: What are you talking about? They are my friends you know that! Who should I talk to then?

Tim: Of course me!!! I'm here for you!!! You know I hate it when they are sitting close to you. You should maintain space.

Me: But we always sit like this.

Tim: Babe! Now you are committed. You should think about your boyfriend's feelings more.

I stayed all silent. Admitting my mistakes, I nodded.

Tim: I hope you are understanding. I love you.

As I sat there, alone at the edge of the bustling cafeteria, the chatter and laughter of my friends felt distant, like echoes in a void.

The once vibrant atmosphere now seemed muted, as if a gray cloud had settled over my world. My plate sat untouched, the food losing its appeal as my appetite waned.

Every time my friends approached me, a wave of guilt washed over me. I pushed them away, not out of malice, but in a desperate attempt to please Tim. It felt like a never-ending cycle of sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of someone else's approval.

In those moments, I couldn't help but question my own worth. Why did I allow myself to be consumed by the need for validation from someone who didn't appreciate me? The pain of isolation gnawed at my heart, leaving me feeling hollow and invisible.

On the other hand, Tim was having fun with his friends, talking with them, and eating with them. I realised I was alone.. all alone.. once again...

We had our Sports period. Tim texted me to come in the music room. I told Nathan about it and left the ground.

When I entered the room I saw Nora's group there. She was sitting in between of her friends too. I walked towards Tim who was lying on chairs beside Nora. I asked,

Me: Why did you ask me to come here?

Tim: I wanted to show them something.

Me: What?

Tim stood up and held me from my waist. I struggled,

Me: Hey- what are you doing?

I could feel Tim's grip tightening around my waist, his hold becoming suffocating. Panic surged through me as his lips forcefully met mine, stealing away my first kiss.

But instead of the anticipated rush of emotions, I felt nothing but emptiness. I fought against his advances, pushing against his unyielding grasp.

The seconds stretched on, each one feeling like an eternity, until finally, he released me. The cheers of his friends filled the air, their celebration a stark contrast to the turmoil within me. As if they bet on something like this, I was clueless.

I could feel the weight of Tim's arm around my waist, his words cutting through me like a knife,

Tim: See? I told ya he would come here. He loves me from the bottom of his heart right baby?

Confusion and a mix of emotions swirled within me. Was I supposed to feel proud or cursed by his declaration?

My body trembled as his words echoed in my ears. Without a second thought, I fled from that room, desperate to escape the suffocating atmosphere. Gasping for air, I found solace outside, away from the laughter of his friends. It felt like I had become a laughing stock, and the pain pierced my heart.

What was that?? What the heck was that? Why did he kiss me suddenly? I realised him following me. He came to me and said,

Tim: Babe! I'm sorry I kissed you suddenly. Actually my friends teased me for being a bad kisser. I had to show them I'm a good kisser. So I called you.

Me: But you should've at least tell me. They were all laughing and I was standing there all clueless? This isn't good Tim.

He held my hands and softly said,

Tim: I love you and I'm sorry for a kiss like this. Let me kiss you one more time to apologise.

He kissed me passionately tears streamed down my face, it felt like my body was no longer under my control.

The power Tim had over me with his words was suffocating. My heart burned with sadness and I was afraid to show my true emotions. I feel I'm feeling wrong, it's just a kiss by my boyfriend I should feel happy. Yes I should feel happy.. but my eyes were telling the truth.

The tears kept rolling down my face as if my inside was bleeding. I was scared and afraid of what would Tim do to me if I were to push him away like this? Would he take me inside to the room back and do more harsh things with me? Or would he leak our photos of dating to the whole school?

I realised it wasn't love anymore I was afraid of him. The love was replaced by the feeling of fear within a period of time.