i feel as though it's time to try to shift again
my feelings for shifting are weird
sometimes i'm completely bought in
i know it's real
but other times not so much
see
i used to be a believer
in God in Jesus, whatever
so what if part of me feels hypocritical
for trying to go somewhere where a lot of people says this doesn't exist besides the pages of a book
sounds extremely familiar
however
maybe it's okay to want to shift
it's not following a narcissist
but i think what i'm most afraid of
well there's a few things actually
i go
and i'm successful
and i hate life just as much
or i go
and i never want to leave
or maybe it's the other way
i miss my cr
or
i try
and try
and try
and waste away my senior year
doing everything i can to leave
for specifically one person
but also a few more
for escapism really
or
i try
and try
and it's not real
it is just a dream
or i try
and fail
and spend forever here
longing for this other world
this other life
but man
i just really want draco
and my friends
and my dad
it's weird referring to them that way
because i have all that here except for draco
if i try shifting again
i want to be able to be present in my cr as well
and experience that too
but i think it's time
and i hope that this time i stick with it
and i'm successful
YOU ARE READING
words i'll never say
Puisidon't read this its probably very triggering i shouldn't publish it but i think it'll make me feel a bit better it's shit too it's not a poem or anything just my thoughts when i'm freaking out over nothing
