i'm so fucking selfish
i try to pretend i'm not
to make myself feel better
but i'm so shit
i'm a shit daughter
a shit sister
and only good to my friends
i'm fake as shit
but i still love them with all my heart
but i sit in my room
constantly
or i go out with my friends
and i feel bad
because i don't ask my sister to play barbie's
and when she asked me i was too fucking shitty to say yes
and it's too late
and i don't ask my dad to play with me
i don't think i ever asked my mom to
once in my life i can't remember her playing with me
i don't know who to blame
i'm so conflicted
i don't know if i should hate her or not like her
or if i should
because yeah she takes care of me
but i can't stand her
she doesn't listen to me
she doesn't hear me
or seem to care
but when she does her idea of caring isn't helpful at all
i know she doesn't know how to help me
but i don't know how to help either
i don't know what's wrong with me
YOU ARE READING
words i'll never say
Poetrydon't read this its probably very triggering i shouldn't publish it but i think it'll make me feel a bit better it's shit too it's not a poem or anything just my thoughts when i'm freaking out over nothing
