i know people care about me
i know there's people that like me
that's why i can never kill myself
that's why i'm afraid to die
because even though i'm miserable
even though i want to go to sleep and never wake up
i can't upset people even in death
no matter how selfish i should be
how selfish i want to be
i'm still worried about other people
what will happen after
maybe i should stay
but i don't think i want to
even if there is some happiness in my life
i will always feel alone
or broken
or unlovable
or stressed about making sure everyone else is good before i am
i don't think i'll even know when i was happy until after it's gone
because i'd have been to worried making sure everyone else is
which is why i'll probably never kill my self
even though i think about it
because i think about my friends and family and everyone else right after
but i don't think it's good for me either
because i don't want to live for them
i don't want to live for me either
i just don't want them to die because i did
i don't want them to be sad because i was
YOU ARE READING
words i'll never say
Poëziedon't read this its probably very triggering i shouldn't publish it but i think it'll make me feel a bit better it's shit too it's not a poem or anything just my thoughts when i'm freaking out over nothing
