Which is worse? To be unlovable? Or to be incapable of love? A conundrum that many don't stop to ponder, for they've never had to worry. But those that do, we sit awake at night, wondering which is worse, which ails us. To be unlovable is to never get the care you so desperately need, no matter how much you search, how much you yearn. To be incapable of love is to break far too many hearts, to never take down your walls, no matter how hard you try, how much you want. It's sorrowful, in either case, two hells of the heart. The heart is a fragile thing, that's how it starts. Children's hearts are weak things, so easily corrupted and broken. The people in a kid's life will always brand them in one way or another, burning their way into their heart. In some cases, it's a good thing, teaching a child important, healthy things. But far too often it's irreparable damage dealt, leading them to ruin. Maybe they're hit on the regular, or raped. Maybe they're the butt of every joke, and taught to hide everything for their own survival. I never understood why people do the things they do to children. I suppose it's because they can't defend themselves, and if they trust you they'll never complain, they may even beg for more. It's a flaw, the intense love and trust that humans are born to give, an ability that is often stolen. If a child's heart is broken too much, too early, no amount of pretty pastel bandaids can cover it, can fix it. Unlovable, or incapable of love, loving too much, or always running away.
