✨my diary/thoughts✨

why do i always fall in love with horrible people

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But somethin' 'bout it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singin' in the car, getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves fallin' down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone and
That magic's not here no more
And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all
Oh, oh, oh

'Causе there we arе again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter
Your cheeks were turnin' red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed
And your mother's tellin' stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team
You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me

And you were tossing me the car keys
Fuck The Patriarchy keychain on the ground
We were always skippin' town
And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now
He's gonna say it's love
You never called it what it was

'Til we were dead and gone and buried
Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same
After three months in the grave
And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you
But all I felt was shame
And you held my lifeless frame

And I know it's long gone and
There was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
I remember it all too well

And there we are again when nobody had to know
You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer and we'd swear
To remember it all too well, yeah

Well, maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Runnin' scared, I was there
I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest
I'm a crumpled-up piece of paper lyin' here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say all's well that ends well
But I'm in a new hell every time
You double-cross my mind
You said if we had been closer in age
Maybe it would've been fine
And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel
Whose shine reflects on you
Not weepin' in a party bathroom
Some actress askin' me what happened: You
That's what happened: You

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes
Sippin' coffee like you're on a late-night show
But then he watched me watch the front door all night
Willin' you to come
And he said: It's supposed to be fun
Turning 21

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again
But I'm still tryin' to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it
'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there
You remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there
You remember it all
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well

And I was never good at tellin' jokes, but the punch line goes
I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age
From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones
I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?
Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?
'Cause in this city's barren cold
I still remember the first fall of snow
And how it glistened as it fell
I remember it all too well

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?
Just between us, do you remember it all too well?
Just between us (just between us)m I remember it all too well (wind in my hair)
(I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)

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AHHHHH I WANNA GO TO ARGENTINA (WHERE TAYLOR IS RN)

is it over now AND out of the woods??

HELP I WATCHED THE VIDEO AND THE CROWD WAS SO LOUD I COULDN'T HEAR TAYLOR

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my grandmom said if taylor gets close enough to where we live then she'll take me to the tour

so thats gonna be in like a year probably

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my friend from 6th grade lives kinda close to me now (only 30 minutes away) and shes a swiftie too so maybe we can GO TO THE MOVIE???

idk if she'll want to go again BUT I DO OMG I WENT THREE TIMES ALREADY AND I'M SURE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE AUDIENCE HATED ME SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME :D

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"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

"You said if we had been closer in age, maybe it would have been fine And that made me want to die"

relatable now cuz motherfucker lied about his age to me so i thought liking him would be fine and socially acceptable and legal but it's not :( he also has guns and bombs in his house

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Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps
Praying the floor won't fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules every day
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know whyDear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
I should've knownWell, maybe it's me
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need
To give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors
Who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said
"Run as fast as you can"Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games when I loved you so?
I should've knownYou are an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes
'Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town
Oh, ohDear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've knownYou should've known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should've known

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"Don't you think fifteen's too young To be played by your dark, twisted games when I loved you so?"

"If no one loves me now Someday somebody will"