✨my diary/thoughts✨

tech week day 1 4/15 - school day 4/16

First day of tech week was.............Mm

So it started out fine

I walked up to the school and got my instruments and went into the auditorium 

They turned down all the lights so no one could see lol but I made it to my seat in the pit alright

We ran through Act I and repeated some songs 2-3 times because we suck (A Rumor in St. Petersburg, The Rumors Never End, My Petersburg) 👀 

So I have 3.5 songs I play on viola: The Neva Flows, Stay I Pray You, half of Once Upon a December Reprise, and The Neva Flows/Still Reprise

After The Neva Flows, I have to quickly switch from viola back to violin

I don't have an instrument stand so my violin was on the floor so I grabbed it and set my viola down but i didn't have enough time to do it GENTLY, like the bottom part of the viola (where the shoulder rest is) was touching the floor so the scroll was about an inch off the ground so I kinda just dropped it (I also did this with the violin and it's perfectly fine) 

Then I had to switch to viola again for Stay I Pray You. I don't play for about 15 measures, but when i came in I was like "hmm it sounds a bit off but maybe I just have weird harmony" and after half a page we had to hold (stop) because someone messed up. I plucked my strings and DAMN it was so out of tune I was like "shit I must've hit the pegs against the leg of my chair when I set it down" but no one was gonna wait for me to tune my instrument and I HATE tuning with pegs and it's really hard for me lol so Clemmy offered to do it for me, so she started doing that while everyone else kept playing then after a minute she leaned over and said "is this your viola?" And I was like "yeah" and thought "lol if she can't tune it it's ok she's a violinist anyway" and then she said "the problem isn't the pegs or the strings, it's the fingerboard" and that's when I realized the fingerboard was not attached to the neck anymore, it could slide around a little bit. It was super dark in the auditorium so I hadn't noticed it before. She handed it back to me and I kinda just sat there and stared at it in my lap. I set it down on the floor and then I cried for like 40 minutes straight (but kept playing violin cuz it's tech week). It felt like I accidentally killed my best friend. I was also wearing mascara so my face was not pretty during rehearsal but at least it was dark so no one could tell. I cried for the rest of Act 1 and part of Act 2. I was ok by Land of Yesterday, though, because it's my favorite song from the musical and it made me feel a bit better. 

After running through Reprise of The Countess...& Land of Yesterday, it was almost 9 PM so it was dinner time (that's insanely late). After I packed up, Leo came up to me and said "Are you ok? I know breaking your instrument in the middle of a thing can be stressful" and I just said "yeah" so he could take it either way (yeah I'm ok/yeah it is stressful (and fucking depressing)). 

I went to the cafeteria and ate pizza that wasn't great and a chocolate chip cookie. I sat with Yenna and then I told her my viola broke and I started crying again 😀 (in front of all her friends who were very concerned which was embarrassing) so she gave me a hug but I just kept crying like I was crying like someone had died and my eyes burned like hell because mascara and sweat was getting in them and I had to take off my glasses and wipe my face with a napkin. After putting away my school violin, I finally stopped crying. My phone also refused to connect to school WiFi for more than two seconds at a time but I eventually texted my mom and my parents came to pick me up. 

I went outside and my dad took my viola and my bag and I just ugly cried again like I was sobbing and I told my parents how it broke and I thought they'd be annoyed but my dad said he'd get it fixed asap. Then I went home and finished my pizza and cookie and cried some more. Then I showered and cried in the shower (mmm salt water 😋). 

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I emailed Gerbear at 10 last night asking if I can borrow a school viola cuz my viola broke. He didn't reply lol but I went to talk to him this morning and he said I could have it (for as long as I need it hopefully less than a week was kinda implied). My dad took my viola in the car this morning and he's gonna call the instrument shop as soon as they open to see how quickly they can repair it (I think you only have to take off the strings, reglue or replace the fingerboard, and put the strings back on and tune it and it'll be fine) and then maybe find a rental if I can't bring the school viola home. I forgot to ask if I can bring it home or not, so after school (cuz I don't feel like having a tardy today) I'm gonna go back to his office and ask. 

I also have to get a pass from the choir teacher for tri-m meeting tomorrow. But should I go to tri-m (I need service hour ideas) or emergency pit rehearsal (I don't feel like it and besides, opening night (which is Thursday 😅) isn't gonna be perfect cuz Lile says their solo in Stay I Pray You sounds like ass and also the brass guys are not playing the accidentals in Land of Yesterday.

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Anyway driver's ed is pretty boring, we had to learn about car dashboard warning signs or smth and I kinda understand it ? (I'm meant to be passenger princess) and I've been writing in this instead of doing my math homework. And now we're playing kahoot

I'm not wearing mascara today just in case there's another disaster that causes tears 

English was boring cuz my teacher teaches weird, we watched a short film and read a really weird story about women being horny for a corpse they found on the beach IDK MAN 

Latin was just classwork the entire time reading comprehension and grammar rules and we weren't allowed phones 😢 

During lunch I looked at the pit notes Google doc and the theatre teacher said he might cut us (live music) for the first Thursday Friday Saturday bro 😭 

History was just preparing for the essay on Hitler (graphic organizers and documents) which I almost finished but didn't 😀 that's gonna be fun writing the essay on Thursday