✨my diary/thoughts✨

update

pre-assessment went OKAY.........................

then last last sunday WAS THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFE

i happy cried

cuz we played so well

wtf scheherazade was beautiful

they clapped for like 2 minutes

THATS FUCKING GOOD

assessment yesterday.............................

Assessment was Tuesday and it was really fun to miss school. I wore concert attire to school and after study hall, I had to go to A Lunch. I met up with my friends in the auditorium after lunch during 6th period. We had to just chill there for an hour until the buses came. I hung out with Yenna and Zo. I was bored so I sat on the floor and watched Dracula 1992. Yenna was watching with me but she didn't have any context so her commentary was really funny.

She had to leave early to put her cello on the back of a bus. Eventually, I got on a school bus with Zo and we were very squished and crowded because everyone had their backpacks and instruments. We felt bad for the cellists because some of them had to sit with their big cello case and basically couldn't move.

We finally got to [other high school] and I texted my friend that I was at her school. She actually knew about Assessment and she wished me good luck. I sat with my friends in the auditorium and unpacked. I didn't sit with my stand partner Gauri and I couldn't find our music folder, so I was just hoping she had already taken it from school. I was worried that we wouldn't have music, but once we walked into the choir room, she gave me the folder so we could practice.

Symphony orchestra had soundcheck, and then they performed, and everyone watched. For their sight-reading, everyone had to get out so we all had to go to the choir room to practice. After 15 minutes, Philharmonic left the choir room to go perform, and Symphony came to join us. We decided to run through our pieces as a whole class, but our class was split in half. One half, which was mostly violins, was at the top of the room (since every choir room has those carpeted steps), and my group was at the bottom of the room. Since we weren't that close to each other, some entrances were a measure off, but we just all laughed about it and hoped everything would go well on stage. I think we actually sounded better in the choir room than on stage, but that's just me.

ok so something like lowkey happened. or not happened. i got different vibes from mezzo forte yesterday. like different from usual. usually its like serial killer and dumb jokes no one laughs at but yesterday it was like innocent teenage boy who doesn't hate me like usually he tries to hit with me with his viola or smth but at assessment in the choir room he was smiling and laughing and he looked at me and DIDNT glare at me or anything mean. i guess he FINALLY got over whatever.....happened. idrk but thank god maybe this means he wont bother me anymore, we can just tolerate each other and have to deal with that our friends are friends with each other. he is friends with Lile who is friends with Yenna who is my friend. might still call him mezzo forte tho cuz it hasnt been a year yet.

On stage, I think we were rushing. I felt a bit confused while performing because I thought at some point the second violins were off and were not catching on. Ger-Bear looked kinda pissed off, so that's what made me think we were messing up a lot, or maybe something bad happened during Philharmonic's performance or sight-reading session. There were also boys in the front row who kept passing around a noisy bag of chips and eating them (TOMMY!!!!!!!!! DARN YOU!!!!!!!). Ger-Bear looked back at them angrily three different times during our performance. He also told us that we were playing way too fast and we had to slow down. He actually stepped down from the podium after the first piece and mouthed "SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN!" (he didnt mouth fuck but we ALL KNOW he wanted to) and his face was red from frustration. But after we were done, he said 'we sounded decent, but he knows we can sound better, but it is what it is'.

I hate that auditorium and stage. It is probably the worst stage I've performed on, besides the conference room in Richmond for VMEA. The seats were lower than the stage so the parents did not have a good view of us, and there were weird white walls that were lit up near the stage that did not look good. Maybe I am being a bit too harsh on them because my most recent performances were at my own school, a church, and a performing arts center.

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i finished watching dracula in health class today (I've watched it four times now) so the blood doesnt disgust me anymore

its just blood man

i started watching heathers during lunch YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also on saturday i had an audition for FIGARO OPERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and i think i did good

bro my private lesson today was just canceled cuz we were gonna do virtual cuz my teacher is like SOMEWHERE ELSE rn idk but she's somewhere rural so the wifi sucks ass so she cant zoom sooooooo no lesson this week

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lmao backpack in german is Rucksack? why is that so fun to say

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i'm not horny for voulez-vous, i want to be horny for a hotter version of him but that doesnt exist, so i am just stuck with an ugly nerd who sounds like the american version of benedict cumberbatch and has a big dick (you can see it in his pants BRO)