his safety • n. galitzine

here's to the first i love you

stasia

  today is the day that us as a crew wrap up red, white and royal blue.
it's august fourteenth, twenty twenty-two and after today, the set is officially closed. i started packing up the apartment i've been staying in for the last few months, last week. i turned in one of my badges this morning; i played stupid and acted like i didn't know where the other one was so i could keep it for memories. but last but not least, i finalized housing for toronto yesterday which means that whole situation is coming even closer.

  "how about we go out tonight, for like dinner or something?" taylor offers to us as a group as we start saying goodbye to a few crew members around the set. it was matthew, the main actors of the movie, the makeup artists, camera men, and set designers. it came down to only a few of us being free and able to go because it was situations like stacy having her flight to catch, mark having a few deadlines he needed to work on, aria already having plans for the night, and so on. it ended up being matthew, nick, taylor, ellie, sarah, thomas, juan, clifton, claira, casey and i agreeing to go out.

  shortly after deciding on the location, we all just hung around for a bit, took pictures, shed a few tears and laughs, and i was put up to taking the 'that's a wrap' video for taylor and nicholas.

  i took matthews phone, started from a distance and ran up to the two who were posed standing next to each other with a slate in taylors hands. "hey, guess what?" taylor says while nick follows with, "that's a wrap." taylor decides to yell, "that's a wrap!" and i end the video and we start laughing. while they are in the same position, i snap some pictures and we end it there.

  "gosh, it feels like yesterday we started filming." taylor says and matthew agrees. "it's weird, the monotonous days seem to come back to back but as soon as you realize you aren't going to get a chance to have another, you kind of miss the stillness of those days." matthew says as he takes a seat in his directors chair. "i know, the days where we just shot the scenes where we weren't talking or just being able to go places and have that be the job for the day." nick says. we found ourselves gathered around sharing some memories.
once it was about time for me to head out, i decided i needed to go to get ready for the night out we were having.

  "as much as i don't want to, i think im going to head back to 'my place' to get ready for tonight." i say as i stand up. everyone around me, i was going to see tonight and hopefully again after, but it was an odd feeling. i wasn't going to be on set with them again and it almost made me feel out of place.

  "i know i'll see you all later but just in case, and since i'm sure a few of us will have makeup on, i'll get the emotional shit over with. i wanted to thank you all for being there for me through this whole process of my first time working on a set like this. matthew, thank you for always seeing me for me and for some of the most valuable advice, let alone one of the most amazing opportunities anyone could ask for. to you all, thank you for even saying a word to me, i'm going to be straight forward and say you truly didn't have to. and nick, my love and gratitude towards you could last forever, i'm sure everyone would get tired of hearing it." i say and wipe a tear. he gets up and grabs the sides of my head to kiss my forehead.