Mute love

tantrums

She rested her head on my chest as I pulled her on my lap.
Now she was sitting on my lap, I mean I was sitting there with my legs folded . Her hip was on my lap and her feet were still on the floor.

Her arms wrapped around my waist and I started caressing her back with my one hand.
My other hand was fixed on her knee. She snuggled more in my chest when I rubbed my palm over her waist. I shouldn't have ruined her happiness like this. And I know I would never do that again.
No matter how many storms my heart will face and how difficult it is for me to handle, I will always keep it a mile away from her.
She deserves to be happy, she doesn't deserve insecurities, pain , heartbreak.

“ Why do you overthink so much?? ”

I heard her sniffing.
I know, she faced too much in her past. She lost her parents, she lost her childhood, and she lost five years of her golden period because of her ex.
She faced enough tragedy in her life. And that's a significant reason for her habit of over thinking. This can affect her mental health in a negative way.

I need to make her stop doing that. It's important.

“ You know, your situation is as bad as you can think. If you think you are good then you are good. If you think you're in trouble then you are in trouble. And if you think there is no issue then there is no issue. So you should just stop thinking negatively!! ” I moved my hand from her knee to her jaw .

“And even if you are sad for some reason then I am here. Vent your anger on me. I won't mind. ” I made her look into my eyes.
“You can slap me. The way you did today,
just make sure it's gentle ” I chuckled at the last line.

She nodded her head multiple times in denial. Did I mention she looks like a cute kid when she cries??
She does.
The way her nose and eyes turn red, it's just pretty. And lastly her sad pout.
But no matter how pretty she looks I still can't see her like this.
I just question my existence . How can someone hurt such a pretty soul?

“ Why?? ” I asked as she was denying to slap me but instead of answering she just hugged me tight and started sobbing hard.

“ It's fine!! ” I patted her waist to make her feel warm and comfortable.
“ I already told you last time that I don't like when you cry, you shouldn't cry!! ” I looked down at her face when she was crying on my chest.
I removed hair strands from her face and tugged them behind her ears before placing my lips on the side of her forehead.

Within two minutes she was done with her crying but didn't let me go off her hug. She was still clinging to my chest and I didn't mind it.

“ Do you want to eat something?? ”
She denied and we stayed like that for a bit more.

“ You should eat something!! ” I repeated and she again denied but this time she parted from me and looked at me.

“ Don't worry about taste, I won't cook. Just tell me what you want. I would order it!! ” I said smiling. She knows I am a horrible cook.

She smiled.
Thank god!!
She smiled at least.

“ Tell me, what do you wanna have?? ” I cupped her face and asked her , she started to think.

I waited for her until she placed her palms on both of my shoulders before getting off from my lap.
My eyebrows raised in confusion , watching her every move.

She grabbed her phone from the night stand and climbed on bed .
She signalled me with her hand ( come here)

I stood up , she shifted on her seat to make space for me and patted the bed.
She stretched her legs and rested her back on the headboard.
I laid beside her resting my back on the headboard, she was searching for something on her phone, food.

Clicking on the veg rolls she placed the order.
“ You didn't ask for my choice? ”

She looked at me showing off her teeths “ Do I actually need to eat what you want? ”
I sighed when she again nodded before keeping her phone aside.

Oh!!
I don't like rolls but… ..
No worries!!
She likes it.
And I like her!!
So now I also like it.

I moved closer to her and touched her hand slightly.

__________
Anshika
I watched him take my hand in his , he caressed the back of my palms before kissing my knuckles.
I smiled.
I was so stupid to misunderstand him. He is so genuine, so humble and so sweet.
I must have done something good in my past life to meet him.
Or maybe I had done something bad for not meeting him earlier.
He might be facing some trouble that's why he left and that's why he was acting like that before .
But I know he never wanted to hurt me intentionally. He would never.

I hope he would share with me about what happened before that made him hurt himself. I hope he will open up with me.
Soon he will.

I know he is the best. I made the best decision of my life by loving him, by marrying him.

He was staring at my hands and I don't know what's going on his mind. But he is thinking about something deeply.
I wish I had mind reading abilities like him. It would have been a blessing.
Please God, just solve all his problems. Please give him chance to be happy, not just to make others happy.

I leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. He laughed, he is so cute.
“ Thanks for that! ” He pulled me towards him by wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“ You are so warm!! “ I smiled
Same to you.

He held my hand with his other hand and locked his fingers with mine.
Oh shit!! My heart rate is increasing again.

“ Just don't leave me!! Ever, please!! “ He looked into my eyes. Why do you think I will leave you??
I will do anything to be with you. Like anything.
I rested my head on his  shoulder.

Besides his weird behaviour, we had a good time , we ate together in my room, I made him eat my kind of food. And he said he loved it.
And I didn't bring that topic again like where were you? Why were you angry??
Because I don't want to ruin these beautiful moments with him. I know our relationship will work a little slow, but I am still loving it.
I will wait until he tells me by himself.

And right now, we are cuddling, in my blanket, in my bed. I won't ask him to share his room with me if hu stayed in my room like this forever.
I just want him.
Not his room.

“How old were you when your parents died?? “ he asked out of nowhere.
I rested my chin on his chest and looked at him showing him four fingers!! He just nodded. I don't know why he asked that.
He resumed playing with my hair.
This is so dreamy.

“ Why don't you go out with your friends tomorrow?? “ I looked at him confused .
He doesn't know that I don't have any other friend than Sara!! And she is quite busy these days.

But why is he telling me to go out?

“ I was just saying because I will be busy tomorrow with some work, so you should… “ He justified it, but he is busy everyday, he never told me to go out.
That's weird.

I just nodded my head.
What does it take to only say yes.

                  … … … . … … … …
Two days later

“ Mumma, I really don't  want to go school today!!  ” Adhya said with a sad face.

I stared at her “ Pwease!!!, ” 
Those puppy eyes.
What's wrong with both of these people?

That handsome dadda is not going to office, and just working from home and his beautiful daughter is throwing tantrums at me for not attending school.
That's weird.
She used to love going to school.

“ You know we will play all day, please, I don't want to go!! ’

_________

I wrote this while being on periods.
With thousands of mood swings.
So just ignore my mistakes and forgive me if it was cringe 😭😭😭 and short too