Stan's Sleepover (South Park)

Goodbye Shrek

"Cartman, truth or dare?" Craig asked, his cheeks tinted pink.

"Dare," Cartman shrugged, scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

"I dare you to go to bed," He smirked.

"EY," Eric shouted, furrowing his brow. "You can't do that!"

"Uhhh, yes, he can," Kyle grinned. "Thank you Craig. You have done the world a great favor, putting this hideous beast to rest."

"Fine. But I still get to take my turn before I leave," Cartman grumped. "Kahl, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Kyle crossed his arms.

"I dare you," He smirked. "To ask for sex advice from your dad."

Kyle looked at Cartman in shock and confusion.

"Cartman," Kyle squinted. "Randy's probably already told my parents about the 'thing', he thought was happening between me and Stan. Asking my dad about... that, is going to dig that hole a hell of a lot deeper."

"I know," Cartman grinned devilishly. "But if I'm leaving, I'm going to go out with a bang."

"FINE. If it means I don't have to deal with your stupid ass for the rest of the night, fine."

Kyle took out his phone, unlocking it and opening messages. He clicked on his dad's icon and bit his bottom lip, nervously thinking.

Kyle (son): Hey dad. I was wondering if you had any advice you could give me about sex?

"That good enough fatass?" Kyle rolled his eyes, showing Eric the text.

"That'll do. You're a doll Kahl. I just have to see you send it and I'm out of your hair," Cartman said with fake politeness.

Kyle took a deep breath. He shut his eyes and hit send.

"It is done," Kyle exhaled a shaky breath. "Now leave."

"Good night," Cartman stood up and walked towards the door, purposely whacking Kyle with his foot (although he played it off as an accident).

"Wait, Cartman, c'mere!" Kenny shouted, leaning forward.

"The hell do you want?" Cartman scowled, but walked over to Kenny regardless.

Kenny got on his knees and lifted up Eric's shirt, folding it so it would stay up.

"Goodbye my lovely," Kenny held the sides of Eric's stomach, gazing into the eyes of the Shrek he had painted.

"Awh, Christ..." Cartman rolled his eyes.

"We will meet again... one day," Kenny mimicked Shrek's accent, mushing Eric's stomach to make it look like Shrek was actually talking.

"Wrap it up," Kyle rolled his eyes.

"I love you!" Kenny shouted before kissing the painting sloppily.

"EY! Get your poor lips off my stomach!" Cartman jolted back, rolling his shirt back down.

"I'll never forget you!!" Kenny reached out a longing hand as Eric moved closer to the door.

 "Now it's just you fags. Have fun being gay you guys. See you in the morning~"

"Not if I smother you in your sleep first," Kyle reached over Stan, slamming the door shut before Cartman could say anything else.

"Alright, now that that thing has left us to play in peace," Kyle sighed, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. "Butters, truth or dare?"