To the World...(A Collection of Poems)

The Current I Fought

I was a child,
leaning on you
to help me,
to pull me from the
waters of the world that
threatened to drown me.
Why did you watch me sink,
ignoring my screams?

I slowly fell into silence,
accepting that I would have
to bear the weight
in my lips, lungs.
The taste of salt still
stings my tongue.

I, somehow, kept my head above
the crashing waves,
while tears rolled down my pale face.
You lied,
told the world I was okay -
even though we both
knew it not to be.
Maybe you wanted them not to
know your shame,
the mistake you wish you never made.

I barely made it out alive,
vomiting out all I was forced to take.
I shivered from the cold,
though I marveled at the beauty
of the still, solid ground
on which I lay,
digging in my weak fingers to verify,
safety now guaranteed,
No more treading.
No more fighting.
I was free.

Now I'm away,
no fear of drowning
on my shoulders.
Why don't I trust anyone
to catch me if my feet
get stuck on rocks
or tangled in seaweed,
even though I've heard their
promises to guard me?

I sit at the shore,
watching all others of my time
come back and forth,
led with guiding hands
that are quick to grab if in need -
and wonder what I did
to deserve such tangible hatred
that leaves me to bleed
out the waters you let threaten me.