Me!

The other day (When I almost died)

So background information- I am deathly allergic to all nuts, and I was born dead.

So my mum was like "Come on we need to drop Dad off at work!"

and me being a super badass teenager was like "Yeah, no. I'm reading my new history book (it's  HUGE and weighs, like, 7 kilos, 15.4323584 to you weird non-Aussies. jk i love you all)

My Mum: come on, I'll get you something if you come!

Me, think along the lines of new books or Maccas (McDonald's again to you non-Aussies): ok, fiiiinnnnneeeeee

*time skip to after, when my mum drives towards a area in the city I've never seen*

me: where are we?

My mum: Ice cream!!!!

me: *nervous after last time, when my nana (the lactose intolerant) ate ice cream*

My mum: it's a gelato place!

Me: *excited because i speak Italian* (the rest of my family don't) 

My mum: Look, they have salted caramel and toffee!

Me: *even more excited because i love salted caramel*

My mum: *orders my salted caramel, her dark choc, and my dad's tiramisu*

Me: *eats super quickly because Australian summer* (40 degree heat or 104 for all my weird non-aussies, who i love)

Me: mum, i dont feel well.

My mum,who is trying to frantically buy last minute gifts: im busy, sorry honey. go talk to dad.

me to my dad: i feel sick

My dad remembering the time i threw up in a crowed shopping centre around this time last year because i came into contact with peanuts, my worst enemy: allergy sick or ate too much sick?

Me, who had eaten one muesli bar all day: Allergy sick?

Him: fuck

Me: can't feel my fingers or breathe properly: fuck

Me: i can feel my mouth tingerling and my throat closing up.

(except because said throat was closing up, and because my tounge was swelling it did not sound like that, but my dad got the gist of it.)

then i threw up in front of a VERY expensive hotel and passed out in the car. anyway, i almost died again, for about the seventh time. i was really scared as well, and this happened two days ago and i still feel really, really sick.

anyway, welcome to my first rant thing

~Alex