Me!

I think I'm autistic

So, I think I'm autistic, and I know the online stuff doesn't work,  but I did a proper psychology one and got 38 out of 40.

Reasons I think I'm autistic:

I walk weird, apparently. Like on my toes and really big strides.

I don't understand social cues or sarcasm. One time I cried because my friend made a joke that I was stupid, and I didn't realise it was a joke.

Sensory things. I love certain textures but can't eat some food because of the texture. I can't wear some clothes without crying because of the textures, and I can't wear long pants with elastic ankles without breaking down.

I hate change. Any change at all makes me cry. I need composure and structured plans.

I wear the same things again and again because of texture and change.

Apparently I say things that are rude when I talk to people that I don't think sound rude.

I hate social events with more then one or two people.

I have trouble making friends

I have learning differences, like I can't do math, but I'm good at problem solving, and I love numbers and dates and information and history and geography and just true things in general.

I get really emotional really easily and upset really easily and have meltdowns and panic attacks a lot.

I'm very impulsive and have lots of intrusive thoughts

I have tics like suddenly throwing my head back, twisting my ankle 180 degrees and a new one is hitting my head with my hand randomly and sticking my thumb out and scratching my pointer finger into it really hard.

I'm really ambiverted.

I struggle with eye contact. I can't hold it often, but when I do it's really intense and creeps the other person out.

My handwriting and work is always really messy and I have no hand-eye coordination at all.

I have HUGE hyperfixations (pjo, solangelo, Hamilton and Måneskin.

I don't get most jokes either 

Masking: I always copy the body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and the way someone acts around me, and I always feel like I'm wearing a mask and it's exhausting but I don't want to be different but at the same time I kinda do and it's confusing and tiring.

That is all. Thank you!

~alex