Frostbitten Snowdrops (WWBM)

December 4

Marcus' P.O.V.

I couldn't sleep all night long. I tossed and turned and decided to get out of the bed. Then I did something out of the blue and I'm still not sure about my decision. I started my car and currently I'm driving to Liverpool. I don't know why. I wish I could explain my doings to myself, but I can't. Where am I going? Will I go to my house or just the graveyard? I reach Liverpool, I see the sign Welcome to Liverpool and I huff. I'm such a fool. This is the last thing I should have done. I ponder if I should take a U turn and go back to London because I can't face myself here. After thinking for about five minutes, I decide to go to the nearest store and buy alcohol. It's been so long since I drank. I put my beanie and sunglasses on because I cannot deal with anyone right now and I'm afraid someone will recognise me.

I buy a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes. Another old habit that I have evoked without a valid reason. I go back to my car driving to the graveyard. As I arrive, I can feel my body trembling. Yes, it's cold outside, but something inside of me is freezing. I haven't been here for two years. Also, I cannot help but think about my mum, sister, cousins who gave their best to help me when dad died. I think I can finally admit to myself that I'm an ungrateful child, even brother. I slowly make my way to the grave as rings of smoke leave my mouth because it is bloody cold today.

As I approach it, I put my hand over his name, a tear escaping my eye.

''I'm sorry, Dad. I truly am. It's been so long and I still haven't managed to deal with my pain. I'm fine during the whole year. But, as soon as this day comes, I become someone else. I failed you. I failed my mum. Maybe I can make it up to Alisha by taking care of her child. I'm sorry about the watch, I still cannot forgive myself and I will never forgive myself. You know I'm not a fan of jewellery and I had to take my earrings off when I started working at school but they don't even worth much. The only valuable thing I had was that watch and I sold it. The only memory I had of you. At this point, more tears fall down my face and I wipe my nose. I light the cigarette up, opening my whiskey. I take a big gulp of it and it burns my throat. I sit in front of the grave and let my emotions take over me.

Daisy's P.O.V

''Daisy.. Daisy... Wake up. I'm bored.'' , I hear someone's voice, but it takes me a few seconds to understand what is happening.

''Good morning, Jay.'', I say sleepily and he tickles my cheek with my hair.

''Good morning. Up, Daisy. Let's go out and let's decorate the tree!'', he suddenly screams in my ear and I flinch. I'm not used to this.

''Give me a minute, okay?''

''Why?'', he pouts and I run my hands down my face.

Last night I realised that Jay didn't have pyjamas, so I gave him my shorts and my hoodie to sleep in. Then it took me about twenty minutes to convince him that his uncle would come back for him. Then he wanted me to read him a fairytale and since I forgot every single one, I had to look it up on the Internet and read him Cinderella. It was really foolish of me, but it is what it is. Perks of being an only child, I guess because I have never had to take care of my nephews and nieces.

Okay, I'm up, my love", I say and he smiles at me.

"When will we go out?"

"I have to have my coffee first and you have to eat."

"Okay."

I get up and he follows me to the kitchen. I take him in my arms and put him on the counter. As I make myself a coffee, he smiles at me and I ask him if he wants to eat.

"Alright, little prince, what do you want to eat?"

"Cereals."

"Coming your way in 5 minutes."