Sturniolo Triplets angst/Other Things

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑬𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒚 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈~ 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬

Chris is depressed, suicidal even, and he just can't hold on any longer.

Tw: suicidal thoughts, suicide mention, self harm, MCD.

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Why is my life miserable? (Miserable)

Chris asked this question a lot.
The triplet was becoming numb (numb)
He was losing his will, losing his strength to fight the demons in his mind.
He was falling, falling down, back down into that empty feeling. We all know that feeling, the feeling you get when you've given up. Spiraling down, all the way down into the black void that is depression, sadness, anger, fear.
Chris couldn't pull himself back up again, not like last time, or the time before that. He's always been able to force himself out of his episodes, so why was this one different? (Different)
His brothers tried to help him. They tried making him eat, but Chris couldn't do it. They tried to encourage him to clean, or take a shower, but Chris just layed there, paralyzed by the dark clouds around him, covering him up more and more as the days went on.

He couldn't think straight, he didn't want to do anything. Not film, not post online, not even scroll on his phone. He wanted to sleep, when he wasn't sleeping he felt all of the pain that the world was bringing him. There was one other thing he'd do when he was awake, though, when he had the energy. He would take a small piece of glass he had next to his bed, hidden from prodding eyes. (Eyes)
The man would carve long, deep lines into his flesh. Feeling something, anything other than nothing. After he was done, he would go back to sleep.

This day however, was different. Chris felt something, he felt pain. He was horrifically sad, he felt his warm tears slowly falling down his face as he let out soft sobs. He wanted this all to end (end)
He wanted to be free. He wanted to be able to take a shower, and clean his room, and feel something other than anguish. (Anguish)
That never happened however.
Chris made a different decision.
He made the decision to die.
He wanted to die, he needed to. (die)
It was the first time he had left his bed in months, and he was leaving it to greet death.
The boy went to his bathroom after sloppily writing a letter, stating that he loved everybody and that he was sorry. Was he sorry? (Sorry)
No, he wasn't. He wanted this, and he didn't feel bad, not in the slightest.
He ran himself a bath after taking one too many pain killers, he stripped off his dirty clothes, turned off the lights, the room only illuminated by a candle.
Chris slowly stepped into the boiling hot water, feeling goosebumps cover his whole body, sending a shiver down his spine. (Spine)
Chris sighed deeply, stinking down into the water, he looked over at the razor he had brought in and picked it up gently and lining it up to his wrist and pressing down, pressing down harder than he had before, opening old cuts, watching the blade slice into the flesh of his wrist, seeing and feeling his own blood seep out of the wound.
He went to the next wrist and did the same, though his hand was now shaky due to blood loss. He felt his hands fall back into the water, watching the once clear water become a dark crimson, Chris layed his head back. Finally letting the darkness take him. (Darkness)
Letting death take him. (Death)

That empty feeling was gone, replaced with peace. (Peace)

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Miserable
Numb
Different
Eyes
End
Anguish
Die
Sorry
Spine
Darkness
Death
Peace.
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Xxbittersweet_RoseXx