Sturniolo Triplets angst/Other Things

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆~ 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭

Matt has had a problem with self harm for a while, he relapses really bad one day over something, it gets way too bad and Matt has to tell his brothers. They help him.

Requested.

Tw: very graphic description of self harm, blood, sadness, hospitals, mention of stitches.
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It had been years since Matt hurt himself, he still had some thoughts and many urges, but he fought them with the help from his brothers and friends. He didn't want to die, no, but there were times where he just felt numb, or he felt too much emotion. These were the times that the urges got stronger, he did his very best to fight them, but this month had been hell for the triplet. From fighting with his brothers, to hate comments, to their address getting leaked. It was so much to deal with, especially since the fans saw his scars in a video one time. That scared him.
Nick and Chris both assured him everything would be fine, that their fans "probably didn't even see it." But they did, even if Nick cut out some of the clip, they saw a glimpse of it, and that's all they needed.

'oh what the hell was that? On 12.59?'

'YO LOOK AT MATT'S FUCKIN ARM'
'That shit is gnarly fr 💀'

'i didn't know Matt was like that 😒'

"Ngl that's fucking disgusting'

'why didn't bro just kill himself if it was that bad'
'fr he should've just ended it'

'oh..ew'
'thats what I said, im unfollowing these freaks'

'Hope Matt's okay, but he shouldn't be showing all that 💀'
'BRO IS NOT CONCERNED 🗣️🔥'

'Attention seeker'
'how is he an attention seeker? It was obviously an accident'
'hes kept that shit hidden for years and he's only just now showing it. He wants attention, and he's pathetic'

Matt felt his heart shatter, tears filling his eyes. Attention seeker? It wasn't even his fault! Matt shook his head and decided to comment something.

Matt: It's not like I even meant to show that, it was a total accident.

Matt soon realized, that was a bad idea. He watched the replies to his comment roll in.

'hey matt <3'
Matt smiled at the first comment

'Go fuck yourself emo, nobody cares'
Oh, okay.

'kys 🥰'
Matt's jaw dropped, feeling rage fill his whole body.

'do you want to die? Like what other reason would you have to do that?'
Matt didn't want to die.

'shut up Matt, yes you did'
No..?

'do it again 🤷🏻‍♂️'
Matt gasped, feeling his arms and stomach begin to tingle. Signaling an urge.

'bro commented thinking we'd care 💀'
He thought someone would.

'im sorry about these people matt, are you comfortable with telling us why you did that?'
....

'Matt, genuinely nobody cares. You need to just stfu and quit, cause you're disgusting and there's no other way to say that. We know what we saw'
Matt felt tears sting his eyes.

He finally put his phone down. These people, who were supposed to be his fans, who had already put him through so much. These people were getting angry over scars. Not fresh cuts, no no. They saw scars.
Matt absently got up and rushed to his bathroom, trying to fight his urges, but nothing was working. "Please-- I don't want to please!" Matt sobbed, now feeling his warm tears fall down his face.
'Yes you do, Matthew. It's the only way, you know that'
A thought, his thought, spat at him. Matt shook his head, listening as his mind became louder and louder, he couldn't take this anymore. "Okay-- Okay fine.." he said shakily, with a sharp intake a breath, he slowly reached underneath his bathroom sink and began to search the top, looking for his hidden blade. Once he finally found it, he sat on the toilet, staring down at the sharp, shiny object in his hand in his hand, then at his arms, which were littered with gnarly scars from previous relapses. With a soft sob, he began.

'Go deeper Matt, it's not like it'll hurt any less.' A thought spat at him, Matt shook his head, his hands trembling, watching his thick red blood bead to the surface of his skin, a ring of white around where he'd done the first stroke. 'Now! Deeper, now Matt! Now!!' Matt began to sob even harder, but he obeyed, running the blade through his flesh, wincing from this unknown pain. "Please-- I don't wanna do this anymore! Let me stop!" Matt cried, but no, he didn't stop. In fact he went deeper, until finally, he could see the bone of his wrist, and suddenly he was faint. He went too far. He looked at the pooling blood beneath him and let out a cry. Upon standing up, dizziness clouded his mind, as well as his senses. He was able to stumble into the hallway, before he froze upon feeling his consciousness begin to fade, he leaned against the corner of the wall and watched the two blurry men rush towards him.

"Chris! Guys.. help.." Is all Matt was able to say before he fell forward into Nick's arms, losing complete consciousness.
"Yo! Matt?! Oh fuck-- Chris call the-- Call 911!" Nick screams, laying his now unconscious brother on the floor. Chris immediately saw this and pulled off his shirt, throwing it at the red head with his free hand as he dialed 911 "put pressure on that! Right now Nick!" Chris said, his voice filled with urgency. Nick nodded and began to apply immense amounts of pressure to his now pale brothers wrist, with sharp, heavy breaths escaping his lips. "Chris!! what do I do now?!" He called over to the boy on the phone. Chris was too busy yelling at the woman on the other line to answer, Nick looked down at his brother and kissed his head briefly, "It's okay my sweet boy, y-" Nick swallows thickly "You're gonna be okay.." Nick said, his voice breaking on the word 'okay'.
After this, Nick remembers what to do, so with two fingers, the man reached over and felt for a pulse, feeling his eyes fill with tears. "Come on for-- for fucks sake!" Nick shouts, his voice breaking, after feeling around for a moment, he was soon able to feel a very slight pulse. "oh God-- fuck, Matty" Nick gasped. Chris looked over at Nick, tears falling down his face. "They're on the way--..Nick is he, is he okay.." Chris sobbed, his free hand resting atop his head. Nick was able to nod. The paramedics arrived only a few minutes later and scooped Matt up, rushing him to the Emergency room.
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Matt ended up in a coma for three days. Nobody knew when he would wake up, when he arrived they thought he was dead. He had to have blood transfusions, and seventeen stitches in his wrist. He looked dead, he almost was.
Today however, proved that he was in fact; not dead. As he forces his powder blue eyes opened, he looks around and sees his two brothers sitting next to him on either side, he studied their faces. Chris's hair was amuck, his eyes swollen with dark circles under them. His face stained dirty with tears. Nick didn't look any better, in fact, they looked just about the same. Matt felt his heart break at the sight, a sight that he and his thoughts caused. His actions made his brothers look like they'd just gotten back from a funeral, and Matt couldn't stand it.

He's snapped back into reality when a broken sounding voice cut through the silence of the room, making tears fill his eyes at the amount of emotion the voice held. "Matt?.." It was Chris, and Chris was now holding Matt's face gently and sobbing. "Oh shit-- Matty! I missed you so mu-- Don't ever do that again! Fuck are you-- crazy?" Chris sobbed, now Holding Matt close to his chest. Matt's lip quivered and he wrapped his good arm around Chris, holding in his tears as much as he could. "MATT?!" Another, now sobbing voice yelled, he hears a chair fall to the ground and is almost forced into a second person's arms. "Oh, Matty you're here! Thank fuck you're actually here, sweetheart--"
This breaks him and he begins sobbing loudly into Chris's shoulder. "Guys-- oh, God I'm so-- sorry, so sorry.." He whimpers, holding his two brothers closer.
"Don't you ever do-- do that again you idiot! I.." Nick's voice is cut off willingly, and by a sob. Matt feels his brothers tighten their grip on Matt's body simultaneously. "I'm so sorry.. I'll get help--"
"No shit, Matt!" Two voices spoke to him, Matt's lips formed a watery smile, "Matt you can't--..you can't ever do that again Matt, for fucks sake, never again" Chris pleades pitifully. Matt nods, his head still on Chris's shoulder.
"Yeah man we-- Matt we need y'here.." Nick added with a sniffle. "We love you so much, sweetheart.." He ended.
Chris nods, "I couldn't live with you, man.." he says quietly. Matt said nothing, only tightened his hold on his brothers.

Hoping to never, ever again let them go. To never allow himself to fade away from them like that, no. Never again.
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Xxbittersweet_RoseXx✨