Geek Squad {Muke}

48 - Diminish Myself

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. ~Marilyn vos Savant

Michael's POV 

I was dragged by the nurse where I was introduced into a room where Luke seemed to be screaming at his therapist. He was curled up in the chair crying hysterically as he pulled at his hair. She sat calmly and looked unfazed with the vulgarity spilling from his lips. I was wide eyed however. 

"Luke, look who it is." The therapist gestured towards me. 

"I don't care, I - " Luke said as he turned to me and went wide eyed. "M-Michael.." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

"Hey." I waved. I turned to the therapist. "May I?" She nodded her head and I walked closer to Luke, sitting down on the chair next to him. He did not say anything, he just sat wide eyed. He was probably hoping I did not see the episode he just had. While I did not, I did catch a glimpse. I do not want to imagine the rest of it. 

"Are you okay?" I asked Luke, I knew the answer. It was obvious, but I would ask anyways. Luke crawled over onto my lap and curled up in a tight ball while I gently ran a hand over his hair. "I'm sorry he's acting like this." I said to his therapist. 

"Oh it's quite alright. I mean this is a better place than any other." The woman smiled. "Just thought you might help." 

I nodded my head and continued to run my hand through Luke's hair. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "What happened?" 

"I believe you were informed but to do this type of therapy we have to go through and dig up memories Luke may have wanted to leave behind him. He will definitely get worse before he gets better." The woman told me. 

I sighed. "Right." 

"I just want to go home.." Luke mumbled as he nuzzled into me. 

"You can go ahead." The woman smiled. "I'll see you next week, right Luke?" 

Luke nodded and climbed off my lap, rubbing his eyes with one hand, I took the other in my own and guided him out of the building. When we were in my car Luke spoke again. 

"What's the point?" 

"Huh?" 

"What's the point of all this?" Luke mumbled. "I have to go through all of this and it just gets worse, so what's the point of doing it at all? Why am I even trying..?" 

"I need you to try, Luke." I said quietly. 

Luke shook his head slowly. "I wish you hated me.. It would make all of this a lot easier." 

"How so?" I asked. 

"Because then I could have just given up already. I wouldn't have to be trying because what would be the point if no one cared anyways?" Luke huffed. 

"Well death is never the answer." I replied. If I was honest I would say that I was waiting for this, I was waiting for the 'this is pointless' and I was waiting to tell Luke that it was not. 

"What happened.." Luke mumbled and he began to rub his eyes ferociously as he began to cry again. I could tell he did not want to be crying right now. But honestly he would not be able to stop that. 

"I wish I knew." I said. "The doctor says that it's - "

"Oh who cares about the doctor?" Luke scoffed. 

"I do." I sighed. "Luke I'm going to be honest with you because honesty is what you deserve, okay?" 

"Yeah." Luke sighed.

"Doctor Martin doesn't think you're ever going to get better. Only get much worse and remain there." I said. Luke's eyes grew in size but he did not look too confused otherwise. Instead he arched an eyebrow as he had thought of something. 

"That would make everything so more pointless." Luke said. 

"I'm not telling you this so that you give up." I sighed. "I'm telling you this so you know that it's going to take a lot of work." 

"I should go play in traffic." Luke muttered. 

"Luke stop it." I huffed. "Don't talk like that, ever. I don't want to hear it because I don't want to look at you and have only that be on my mind. You don't want me to start treating you like you need a babysitter, do you?" 

"No.." Luke mumbled. 

"Then don't give me a reason to." I replied. Instead of pulling out of the parking lot I leaned back in my seat, my hands still gripped the wheel and Luke did not say anything, but his eyes were locked on me. 

I felt awful, I will be the first to admit that. All I wanted was to help Luke, to make him better. I did not want to hear him talking this way, nor did I want to feel like I was completely helpless and like I could not help him at all. 

Then there was the lingering feeling of guilt. Maybe if I had never snapped that day this would have never happened. What ever happened to us? Maybe we were better off before we met. I was happy in my little group, but now I was constantly with Luke. Just to sort of make sure he was alright. Luke got along with all his preppy friends. 

I should have never let Luke in, we would all be much better. 

Not to mention, I felt totally alone with him. Like this Luke is not my Luke. But I know it is, because this is the Luke I have created. Otherwise I feel like I've drifted away from all of my friends. Honestly I feel like I need someone to just listen to me for once. It is always about Luke. Not saying I want to be the center of attention, I just need to feel like someone wants to listen to my petty problems for once. 

It was now my turn to wipe the tears out of my eyes as I leaned forward and ducked my head down as I full on began to sob. 

"M-Michael..?" Luke mumbled. "What's wrong?" 

"I am eating myself alive." I muttered. 

"Huh?" 

"Nothing, Luke. Nothing." I sniffled as I wiped my nose with my sleeve. 

"This is a familiar thing." Luke said, but I did not respond. Instead I twisted the key and drove off. 

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION; Lucy

So Ariana told me I should start only doing updates on schedule so that's a thing now apparently. So today the only updates will come from this book, think tomorrow is like Acrobatics but Idfk. 

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles, and Serenades xX