The story was special. The legend was powerful.
There were moments or story lines I desperately wished for, and moments that at times seemed small but were so important to discover and delve into. This is a book of these moments that I wanted to ex...
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Sanem went through the motions everyone does at the airport. She went to check in. she went through security. She walked to the gate, she found a seat waiting to board. She did all of this while trying to not think about Can and trying not to break every time she reached for her amber stone that no longer was on her neck.
Sanem tried to accept that she wanted to work on her relationship, but Can didn't want to. She tried to accept that Can was the one that shut her out, and that she did everything she could, but she saw his feelings turn off like a switch in his mind.
Sanem remembered Can's words like it was yesterday, "You are like everyone else to me now."
Sanem couldn't hear those words, on that night she found Polen comforting Can at their mountain cottage. She thought if she fought for Can, he would take back every horrible thing he said. But now she was really hearing those words clearly.
"You are like everyone else to me now."
Sanem knew it would take time to truly accept these words and move on, just like her habit of reaching for her Amber stone. The ache of not feeling the stone on her heart would eventually fade, but she wasn't sure about the pain of losing Can. Right now her neck felt heavier while her heart felt hollow and somehow she knew, despite it all, she would have to survive.
- 1 hour later -
Sanem and Yigit were waiting in a private lounge as their flight was delayed. They were told the inspection for take off was running behind so it would be an hour or so before they were able to take flight. Sanem, not a fan of small spaces, opted to stay at the airport lounge instead of on the plane and Yigit agreed to go with her. Yigit was answering some work emails while Sanem was seated looking nervously at the clock. Every second passing was one more second closer to starting over. It was agony and yet she wondered what it would be like when they arrived at Izmir. Will it be a good distraction? Will she break down in tears in the middle of her meeting? Would she hyperventilate during take off? Different scenarios flooded her mind. Sanem started to feel dizzy and she went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face.
In the bathroom, Sanem held on to the sink as she turned on the faucet. She avoided lifting her eyes to the mirror as she couldn't look at herself. Sanem was afraid of what she would see in her reflection. Everything she was getting ready to do just felt wrong. Sanem knew if she looked up and saw the fear in her face she would make the wrong decision. She waited for the water to be just so and then filled her hands with the icy relief, shaking as she let the water cover her face. She grabbed a paper towel, patted her face and once again avoided that mirror. Sanem, feeling a little better, took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom door.
As Sanem was walking into the lounge, she heard Polen's voice as Yigit had his phone on speaker.
"I can't believe it, I really can't Yigit!" Polen said hysterically.
"Ok Ablacim, ok. I hear you are upset, just calm down and tell me what happened."
"What happened? WHAT HAPPENED! That no money, no anything Sanem is what happened!!"
Sanem froze hearing the hate in Polen's voice.
As she continued to hear Polen insult her, Sanem became furious. What had Sanem done to Polen? In fact Polen was the one going off with the love of her life! Then Sanem heard the most beautiful words she thought she could ever hear.
"He's staying, Yigit... Mr. I don't put down roots anywhere, can't promise you anything more than a few days a year, I never fall in love, nature photographer is STAYING!"
Sanem in shock let out an audible gasp.
The noise made Yigit turn and he saw that Sanem heard every word that Polen had said.
Yigit quickly took the call off speaker and continued to console Polen.
Sanem could only hear Yigits side of the conversation, but what was said didn't matter to her.
Can decided to stay.
He didn't leave ...or maybe he couldn't leave...her
And that's when Sanem with all her soul knew that she couldn't leave either.
Sanem's mind was racing once again but now with perfect clarity. She had to go find him. She had to find her Can. She needed to know why he was staying. Sanem needed to know if it meant what she hoped it meant.
Sanem started to put on her jacket and gather all her things.
Yigit saw Sanem packing and quickly hung up with Polen.
"Yigit, I have to go," Sanem said, feeling lighter than she had in months.
Sanem turned to leave but Yigit blocked her path.
"Sanem? Are you seriously leaving?"
"Yes I have to, I'm sorry."
"To see Can?" Yigit said in an accusatory way.
"Yes," Sanem said with a nod.
"You know this is your job right? Your career? You can't just leave like this!"
"I'm sorry Yigit, I have to."
"Why don't you just call him and see him when we come back?"
"I have to talk to him in person and it can't wait, I'm sorry I have to go."
"Sanem..."
"I'm sorry Yigit truly."
Yigit looked utterly dumbfounded.
"You will do great without me. I'm just a newbie editor. Trust me, you'll be great,"Sanem said encouragingly.
"Sanem this is your life," Yigit was in disbelief at Sanem passing up this opportunity.
Sanem smiled.
"I know."
Sanem walked out of the airport leaving an indignant Yigit behind.
She hailed a taxi and got in the backseat with the weight of the world finally off her shoulders.
"Where to, Ms. ?" The Taxi driver asked.
Sanem thinks for a moment and in her heart she knew where Can would be.
She smiled as she gave the address.
The Taxi driver nodded and drove off as Sanem prayed there would be no traffic.
